Betrothal

[maybride]

When my Fh and I went to our engagement encounter retreat with our church we wrote some betrothals to each other as an assignment. They ***e out beautiful. I have been thinking of how I can give it to my Fh. I thought I would frame it or something but now, I almost want to read it to him at the rehearsal dinner. I barely made it through reading it to him at the retreat because I get all choked up thinking about how much I love him. That's why I would prefer to do it at the rehearsal dinner where everyone is close family and not all of our friends. Does this sound silly? And if I do this, should I let him know in advance in case he wants to read me his? I don't want him to feel obligated to read it if he is uncomfortable but I thought re-living the closeness of the retreat would be nice. I haven't been myself lately and I want him to know I am more in love with him now than ever before. Also, the sentiments are pretty deep, do you think it would make people uncomfortable? Some feedback would be great.

[reecey]

Originally Posted by maybride

When my Fh and I went to our engagement encounter retreat with our church we wrote some betrothals to each other as an assignment. They ***e out beautiful. I have been thinking of how I can give it to my Fh. I thought I would frame it or something but now, I almost want to read it to him at the rehearsal dinner. I barely made it through reading it to him at the retreat because I get all choked up thinking about how much I love him. That's why I would prefer to do it at the rehearsal dinner where everyone is close family and not all of our friends. Does this sound silly? And if I do this, should I let him know in advance in case he wants to read me his? I don't want him to feel obligated to read it if he is uncomfortable but I thought re-living the closeness of the retreat would be nice. I haven't been myself lately and I want him to know I am more in love with him now than ever before. Also, the sentiments are pretty deep, do you think it would make people uncomfortable? Some feedback would be great.

I think its a great idea. Maybe if you want to suprise him, you could have yours ready to read, etc and then have his there too if he wants to read them to you.

[nle5]

What are Betrothals?

[sandstar]

Originally Posted by nle5

What are Betrothals?

I was wondering the same thing

[maybride]

A betrothal is a declaration of a promise to marry. When a woman is betrothed to a man she is promised to marry him or she is engaged to him. In our case, our retreat sponsors had us put in writing our mariral promises to each other. Not vows but similar.
It's not important now because I decided not to use it at either event. I decided it was for us to share with each other and not to display for anyone else. Thanks for the interest though!

[nle5]

Originally Posted by maybride

A betrothal is a declaration of a promise to marry. When a woman is betrothed to a man she is promised to marry him or she is engaged to him. In our case, our retreat sponsors had us put in writing our mariral promises to each other. Not vows but similar.
It's not important now because I decided not to use it at either event. I decided it was for us to share with each other and not to display for anyone else. Thanks for the interest though!

After telling me what a betrothal is I feel you have made a good decision. These definately sound like they could get personal and only meant for the two of you to share with each other.

[steve47807]

Mind if I ask what denomination of church you attend? This sounds like an interesting practice but I've not heard of it done before.

[maybride]

Originally Posted by steve47807

Mind if I ask what denomination of church you attend? This sounds like an interesting practice but I've not heard of it done before.

My husband and I are Catholic. We attended an engaged encounter retreat where they made us write the betrothals. They had two couples, one recently married and one that had been married for about 15 years, and a priest from one of our churches hold the retreat. About 30 engaged couples attended with us and it was held at an old convent. They set up sleeping quarters for the boys on one floor and the girls on another. It started on a Friday evening and ended on Sunday afternoon. They start out by explaining that most couples spend a good portion of their engagement planning for the wedding which only lasts for one day and don't really take a lot of time planning for the marriage itself which lasts a lifetime. Basically, we all meet together in one conference room and the couples talk a little about their experiences as newlyweds and bumps that they ***e across in those first years together. The priest then talks a little bit about how it is important to have self respect as well respect for the other and things like that (nothing too preachy to my surprise). After that, the men and women are seperated into different rooms and asked to write their answers to a series of questions in a notebook that the retreat provides. They ask about children, differences in cultures, families, religious backgrounds, financial issues, and every other thing you encounter in a marriage. They then gather the FH and FW into the same room together and have them talk about their answers in private. This goes on all day, every day except when they break to feed you. I think it is basically damage control for your marriage to make sure something doesn't come up later in the marriage that you had no idea about and may not be comfortable living with forever. I thought it was great and inspiring. It was even romantic. They talk about the committment you make to one another, your future kids, your community and your God. The betrothal just flows out of you after delving into so many personal issues in one weekend. It was emotionally draining to talk about some things and exciting to talk about others. My husband and I had been together for so long that most of that stuff had already come up but you could tell that some of the couples hadn't even discussed who would handle the finances yet and this retreat was kind of an eye opener for them. I guess I went off on a tangent again, but I would definitely recommend going to something like this to anyone who's church offers it. Not everyone there was Catholic and they don't push religion at all just communication. Best of luck!

[loveatfirstphp]

I think it is a wonderful Idea. My finace is Catholic as well and we attended the engaged encounter. We also had to write a betrothal and I have been wondering how to reread it to him. I want to to be personal. He and I barly were able to read them to one another at the retreat.

[loveatfirstphp]

Originally Posted by maybride

My husband and I are Catholic. We attended an engaged encounter retreat where they made us write the betrothals. They had two couples, one recently married and one that had been married for about 15 years, and a priest from one of our churches hold the retreat. About 30 engaged couples attended with us and it was held at an old convent. They set up sleeping quarters for the boys on one floor and the girls on another. It started on a Friday evening and ended on Sunday afternoon. They start out by explaining that most couples spend a good portion of their engagement planning for the wedding which only lasts for one day and don't really take a lot of time planning for the marriage itself which lasts a lifetime. Basically, we all meet together in one conference room and the couples talk a little about their experiences as newlyweds and bumps that they ***e across in those first years together. The priest then talks a little bit about how it is important to have self respect as well respect for the other and things like that (nothing too preachy to my surprise). After that, the men and women are seperated into different rooms and asked to write their answers to a series of questions in a notebook that the retreat provides. They ask about children, differences in cultures, families, religious backgrounds, financial issues, and every other thing you encounter in a marriage. They then gather the FH and FW into the same room together and have them talk about their answers in private. This goes on all day, every day except when they break to feed you. I think it is basically damage control for your marriage to make sure something doesn't come up later in the marriage that you had no idea about and may not be comfortable living with forever. I thought it was great and inspiring. It was even romantic. They talk about the committment you make to one another, your future kids, your community and your God. The betrothal just flows out of you after delving into so many personal issues in one weekend. It was emotionally draining to talk about some things and exciting to talk about others. My husband and I had been together for so long that most of that stuff had already come up but you could tell that some of the couples hadn't even discussed who would handle the finances yet and this retreat was kind of an eye opener for them. I guess I went off on a tangent again, but I would definitely recommend going to something like this to anyone who's church offers it. Not everyone there was Catholic and they don't push religion at all just communication. Best of luck!

I agree that this was a wonderful experience and I recommend it to everyone. I'm not catholic and I really enjoyed the entire weekend.