Huge dad problems

[Jennlynne]

Here is the story. My fathe has not been a part of my life since the day I was born. My grandfather raised me. When Brian and I got engaged, I immediately asked my grandfather to walk me down the aisle. When I told my step-mom she totally supported my idea. My mother also supported me when I told her of my decision. My so called father found out and told my step-mom that he is not going to attend my wedding. Which is fine with me because he is not invited. My dad then informed my stepmom that she is not allowed to attend my wedding. My stepmom is totally upset about this. What should I do? Invite my dad(which I do not want to do)and watch him throw a huge fit when he is not allowed to walk me down the aisle? Tell my stepmom that I understand why she can not attend and honor her there in Spirit? Please help me. I do know one thing though my grandfather will walk me down the aisle no matter what.

[jennybean420]

well sorry to hear of your problem i noticed that noone replied to your subject. so I will. You mentioned that he hasnt been a huge part of your life right. well I wouldnt buckle and invite him if you dont want him there its your day not anyone elses and if your stepmom wanted to go she would tell your dad to shove it and go anyway and tell him to get over it. You should express how you feel and stand your ground. Face him and tell him to grow up your grandfather is there and was there for you and he is walking you down the isle and its crummy he wont let your stepmother go......though i dont understand why youd invite her and not your dad,,,,,,,he probably doesnt understand that either which is why hes upset.
jennybean

[Jennlynne]

I just want to sya thanks for your reply. the only reason why my dad is not invited is because we do not get along. He has disowned me. My stepmom has been there for me and my mom. She has been my support system through out my life. so that is why my stepmom is invited and not my dad. thank you for your response.

[JR]

Wow, I agree with the other woman that replied. Your Dad should not be allowed to step in now. Don't forget, walking you down the isle is a priviledge. You don't want to take that away from your grandfather.

Good Luck!

[LeiaHan]

I agree too. Your Grandfather has every right to walk you down the isle this is YOUR wedding and you can invite and do what ever YOU want. And if your stepmom is like mine...she would be there no matter what.


Bridget

[Sarah]

Everyone is right. You said your dad disowned you; when he did, he gave up all fatherly rights to you, ESPECIALLY walking you down the aisle. Walking your daughter down the aisle is traditionally "giving her away" -- well, he already did. That's exactly what it means to disown someone -- to never have anything to do with the person again. He can't have it both ways. Have your grandfather walk you down, by all means. It is your stepmom's decision whether to attend. Hopefully, she will decide to put you and your relationship with her ahead of her husband's selfish tantrums. If she really feels she can't attend, then tell her you understand and honor her in spirit. Good luck!

[Bcookson]

Honey, I know what you are going through, except it's between my real father and my step-father. My father has been in my life, but he has done everything in the book to ruin my life. My step-father has been my support system forever. like you my father was very disapointed that he was not going to " give me away" , My answer to him, " where were you when I met my husband to be?, where were you when he asked me to marry him? If you weren't around to care about those important events in my life, why should you be the one to give me away?" And like you my fathers lond term girlfriend agrees. He doesn't deserve to be apart of one of the most important days of you life, but she does, and so does your grandfather.

[reecey]

This is what we did with at a friend's recent wedding. Her father's family was invited, however, the father was not. We had 2 people (larger guys) to act as bouncers. They were informed to not allow him in the church under any circumstances. We had the luxury of having a couple of off-duty police officers there as well - since they were attendees of the wedding. But we had a call in to the police department to let them know that there could possibly be a problem. They were more than happy to be ready to assist us. The father did show up, but he didn't even get in the building. Your friends and family will be willing to play "bouncer" for you so you don't have to worry








Here is the story. My fathe has not been a part of my life since the day I was born. My grandfather raised me. When Brian and I got engaged, I immediately asked my grandfather to walk me down the aisle. When I told my step-mom she totally supported my idea. My mother also supported me when I told her of my decision. My so called father found out and told my step-mom that he is not going to attend my wedding. Which is fine with me because he is not invited. My dad then informed my stepmom that she is not allowed to attend my wedding. My stepmom is totally upset about this. What should I do? Invite my dad(which I do not want to do)and watch him throw a huge fit when he is not allowed to walk me down the aisle? Tell my stepmom that I understand why she can not attend and honor her there in Spirit? Please help me. I do know one thing though my grandfather will walk me down the aisle no matter what.

[In the Future]

I have this same problem so I am interested in these responses. My dad and have not talked in over and year. I have decided that he is not invited. It is a hard decision to make, but if he is not the "father" type then don't let him ruin your big day!!!

*hug*

[mustangbex]

I don't know your relationship with your stepmother but your father telling her that she is not "permitted" to attend gets my blood boiling... There is NO reason she cannot attend and I personally would let her know that I DIDN'T understand. She made the decision to marry your father, and he sounds aweful, but is she going to let him ruin her life and your big day? I would let her know that it hurts me that she would let him tell her what to do and give him his way. How can she be there in spirit if she permits her spirit to be directed by her husband? Don't give in, and encourage her to not give in either... :) Good luck!

Here is the story. My fathe has not been a part of my life since the day I was born. My grandfather raised me. When Brian and I got engaged, I immediately asked my grandfather to walk me down the aisle. When I told my step-mom she totally supported my idea. My mother also supported me when I told her of my decision. My so called father found out and told my step-mom that he is not going to attend my wedding. Which is fine with me because he is not invited. My dad then informed my stepmom that she is not allowed to attend my wedding. My stepmom is totally upset about this. What should I do? Invite my dad(which I do not want to do)and watch him throw a huge fit when he is not allowed to walk me down the aisle? Tell my stepmom that I understand why she can not attend and honor her there in Spirit? Please help me. I do know one thing though my grandfather will walk me down the aisle no matter what.

[valmeida]

Here is the story. My fathe has not been a part of my life since the day I was born. My grandfather raised me. When Brian and I got engaged, I immediately asked my grandfather to walk me down the aisle. When I told my step-mom she totally supported my idea. My mother also supported me when I told her of my decision. My so called father found out and told my step-mom that he is not going to attend my wedding. Which is fine with me because he is not invited. My dad then informed my stepmom that she is not allowed to attend my wedding. My stepmom is totally upset about this. What should I do? Invite my dad(which I do not want to do)and watch him throw a huge fit when he is not allowed to walk me down the aisle? Tell my stepmom that I understand why she can not attend and honor her there in Spirit? Please help me. I do know one thing though my grandfather will walk me down the aisle no matter what.
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[valmeida]

Jennlynne,
Remember that your wedding day is to be a very special day for you and your future husband. You cannot worry about everyone else and their feelings. Your step mother is a big girl and even though she may be stuck in an awkward situation with your father, she is the one that needs to make the decision of whether to come to your wedding or not. That responsibility should not rest on your shoulders. If you would like her to come, then you should invite her. Whether she comes or not is her decision. Do not let your father blackmail you into inviting him, by threatening not to let your step mother attend. If he really cared about you and your feelings, he would not try to put you in this type of situation. Invite only those that you would like to share in this special day with you. I also want to commend you in asking your grandfather to walk you down the aisle. I'm sure you made him feel very special and it just lets him know how much it meant to you to have him there for you all these years. Congratulations on your wedding and much happiness in your new life. God Bless!