Multiple sets of parents...

[shel]

My fiance,at birth was adopted by his "dad" (his biological mother in the picture). His mother and "dad" were divorced when he was young, and he visited his "dad" often until his teenage years. His mother remarried when he was eleven. At 17, my fiance found out his "dad" was not his "dad", that he had adopted him at birth. At 18, he tried to join the military and found out he had kidney failure (only on kidney remained and only partially functioning). At 21, my fiance met his biological father. A little soap opera action: his mother had gotten pregnant by a minor (15 months her junior) and to keep him out of trouble his older brother spoke up and said that he also had "been with" my fiance's mother... who is the real father? My fiance and his father talked a few times, however never really bonded. Kind of a hang out and party type of relationship... just buds. A few years ago, my fiance hit end-stage renal failure and needed an operation to allow the dialysis procedure to take place on a regular basis. His real father showed up again and has been here ever since. More so than his adoptive father and step-father. Now, their relationship is one truly of "dad and son", not "father and son". My fiance's step father has some reservations that the bio father could not accept him at an earlier age and be there for him. My problem is at the reception I would like to introduce the parents of the bride and groom, but I'm not sure that everyone would be able to swallow it. What should I do? What is the proper etiquette?

[mmastroi]

Hi! I'm new to this board and was just browsing when I saw someone with the same problem I have!! Except mine is my fiance's mothers. He was adopted at birth, found his biological mother 15 years ago, and his adoptive parents split when he was very young and his father re-married when he was 10. I need so much help with this situation! Nobody has had any advice? I'm losing my mind with this. One asked me the other day which one was going to be introduced as his "mom", which one was going down the aisle first, second and third, which one dances with him first. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lizherr98]

Hi, I have a similar problem. My Fiance grew up with his aunt, which is his mother figure. However, his biological mom has been there on and off. He has a good relationship with both of them, but they hate each other. I'm going crazy over this.

[edamanskis]

I don't know the etiquette, but was almost in this situation with a step dad who unfortunatly passed away (so now I don't have to worry about him standing in my real Dad's place).

I loved my step-dad dearly, and would have acknowledged him at the wedding. I think I would have introduced them both as my Father.
My step Dad would have been first, with my Mom, and then my Dad.

I think with two Dad's, it would be hard to pick the order, but the one I felt closest to at the time of the wedding would likely win the vote to be first.

The other one/s just have to accept that it's YOUR day, and be gracious about whatever you decide is best for you.

Talk to them ahead of time about what your thoughts and feelings are, so there are no surprises.