Paying for wedding.

[motherofgroom]

Does the brides family still traditionally pay for the wedding, with the grooms parents helping out. Traditionally, in our family the groom parents pay for the alcohol/pop/whatever part of the reception, the rehearsal dinner.

How do all of you do it? Our son is getting married soon, and the parents of his fiance think that my husband and I should pay for the majority of the wedding.
Thanks for your help!

[ybaldwin]

I guess my FI and I are not traditional at all. We are in our early 30's and have been living on our own for a while. (I got my house when I was 24). So WE are paying for everything!!! Our plan is not to ask our parents for anything. So far so good. We have almost paid for everything.

[E-Wee]

Traditionally the bride's family paid for everything and the groom's family paid for very little, but today it is a much different world where nothing is traditional anymore. My parents have offered to pay for the reception and the groom's parents can offer very little. The groom and I intend to pay for everything else. His parents will help where they can, but I think everything is relative to your financial situation as well as the bride and groom's and the bride's parents. One option is splitting the cost 3 ways, you, the bride's parents, and the bride and groom.
Good luck and congratulations!

[jjs_grl810]

I don't think it's fair that you are expected to pay for the majority of the wedding. That should be decided by everyone together.

Etiquette and real life are two different things. Accordingly to etiquette, traditionally the bride's parents pay for the reception and certain things associated with the wedding and the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and certain things associated with the wedding. In the real world, things are much different. It all depends on the situation. What does the bride say? What does your son say?

My husband's parents did not have very much money, so they couldn't contribute very much. My parents gave us a certain amount that I added a little bit to, but my husband paid for the rehearsal dinner and most everything his parents were supposed to cover.

[joni mcanulty]

Actually as I was planning my wedding, I went and got a wedding book on who pays for what. Here's what it reads:

Groom and /or grooms family

* Own travel expenses and attire
*Rehearsal dinner
*Wedding gift for the bridal couple
*Brides wedding ring
*Gift for groom's attendents
*Medical exam for groom including blood test
*Brides' bouquet and going away corsage
Mothers and grandmothers corsages
*All boutonnieres
*Officiants fee
*Marriage License
*Honeymoon expenses

Brides and or Bride's family

Engagement party
Weddigng consultants fee
Bridal gown, veil and accesories
wedding stationery, calligraphy and postage
wedding gift for bridal couple
grooms wedding ring
gift for bridesmaids
bridesmaid bouquets
photography
wedding guest book
total cost of ceremony, including location, flowers, music, rental items
total cost of reception, including loacation, flowers, cake , food, beverages, decorations
transportation for bridal party and ceremony and reception
own attire and travel expenses


Hope this helps

[freddie]

My mom and dad are paying for the majority of my wedding. My fiance's parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner. Recently they also said (without us asking) they would contibute to the alcohol at the reception and to the flowers.

[reecey]

Once upon a time, there was a dowry as well.....

There really is no "set" rule for all of this anymore. I personally think that as adults, brides and grooms should pay for the bulk, if not all of their own weddings and that parents can offer help, but not feel obligated to foot the whole bill. Although, if you're into tradition - watch Father of the Bride - its actually traditionally accurate in the finances of a large wedding


Actually as I was planning my wedding, I went and got a wedding book on who pays for what. Here's what it reads:

Groom and /or grooms family

* Own travel expenses and attire
*Rehearsal dinner
*Wedding gift for the bridal couple
*Brides wedding ring
*Gift for groom's attendents
*Medical exam for groom including blood test
*Brides' bouquet and going away corsage
Mothers and grandmothers corsages
*All boutonnieres
*Officiants fee
*Marriage License
*Honeymoon expenses

Brides and or Bride's family

Engagement party
Weddigng consultants fee
Bridal gown, veil and accesories
wedding stationery, calligraphy and postage
wedding gift for bridal couple
grooms wedding ring
gift for bridesmaids
bridesmaid bouquets
photography
wedding guest book
total cost of ceremony, including location, flowers, music, rental items
total cost of reception, including loacation, flowers, cake , food, beverages, decorations
transportation for bridal party and ceremony and reception
own attire and travel expenses


Hope this helps

[mustangbex]

Once upon a time, there was a dowry as well.....

There really is no "set" rule for all of this anymore. I personally think that as adults, brides and grooms should pay for the bulk, if not all of their own weddings and that parents can offer help, but not feel obligated to foot the whole bill. Although, if you're into tradition - watch Father of the Bride - its actually traditionally accurate in the finances of a large wedding

I personally will be offended if my fiance's parents indicate that my parents should contribute the bulk simply because they're the parents of the bride. Like you said, since the bride and groom are adults the bulk should fall to them. This tradition should be TRASHED... it's demeaning to the bride and her parents... she already has to 'give up' her family's name and all her children get to carry on the grooms family name. Finances should be based on the situation of the individuals involved and not some horrid tradition! Personally, if you're planning some over the top lavish event and relying on others to pay for it you're probably not mature enough to be on your own to begin with.