HELP ME PLEASE

[ChickenShoes]

i will be getting married on july 17th 2004. i love my other half (keith)with all my heart. we live together and already started a wonderful life together. i cant wit to get married and officially be husband and wife. but i found out something not to long a go that may cause my perfect day to be not to perfect. one of my good friends (sarah) moved out of town after we graduated and we still talk over the phone and keep in touch. so naturally when i was asked to be married i asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. she had never met keith. she knew all about him but had never seen who he was. so i planned for them to meet, along with all the other bridesmaids and bestmen. we all went out to dinner and had a wonderful time. she acted a little shy at dinner so i asked her to come to the bathroom with me so i could find out what was the matter. sarah told me to ask keith about her when we got home and to tell him that it was okay and she wanted me to know. i had no clue to what she was talking about, but didnt think anything bad. we went back out to dinner finnished our meals and went home. at home i told keith everything that she had told me in the bathroom. and he took my hand and had us go sit in the bedroom. he told me that he loved me very much and he didnt want anything to change between us. i asked what was wrong and he continued to tell me the story. eventually i got it out of him. keith and sarah did know eachother. they had a "thing" back in the day. they were friends for a while and ended up dating eachother. after being to gether for a while they had sex. a few month later they went their seperate ways and never talked about "them" again. and this is where my problem is. i love keith and would never not marry him over something that he did before he knew me. and i love my good friend sarah and would never not have her in my wedding over something that she did before we be***e friends. but i cant help feeling uncumfortable knowing that one of my bridesmaids has had sex with the man im marrying. i dont know what to do. i need any advice you are willing to give me. HELP ME PLEASE!!! ~Amber

[FinallyPlanning]

i'm sorry you found out that way. But, i think if they're okay with it you might be able to be okay with it if you don't think of them that way. My fi was introduced to me by one of my bridesmaids...his exgirlfriend. I knew when I met him that they had a thing together before me and had had sex. After he and I were serious I never really thought about it again, except to joke that she had good taste in guys. I focus on me and him, and her as my friend. If you truly are uncomfortable though talk to them you don't want that between you.
*hugs*

[joni mcanulty]

Remember that this is your day, and it needs to be so special. If this is going to make you or keith uncomfortable then you need to ask her as a friend not to be in it. Because on your weddding day you shouldn't remember what happened before and if this is bothering you that much then you need to let her know that you would be more confortable with her just there as support. In pictures that make the groom and the bridesmaids bunch together or even kiss him on the cheek. remember all these things, also ask him if he is unconfortable with her in it?

[jennybean420]

well I really smpathize with you . I have two things to point out to you you didnt clarify. one if she was that good of a friend then you should have known about him. Second if he heard her name he should have told you before you asked her to be your bridesmaid and before the dinner. but all is fair and loving right should of could of would of but didn't. SO if she really is a good friend but not so close anymore like someone you have as your best friend whos almost like faimly , then ask her if your uncomfortable with it and your fiance to be a guest book attendant for you. I comend you for your patience. good luck dear and if you let her stay in your wedding keep a eye out she could be thinking of his hot bod while you guys are walking down that isle......hmm not a good thought
good luck