Problem with my dads girlfriend

[MEREDITHWEDDING@HOTMAIL.COM]

I hate my dads girlfriend. She is really mean to me, but has to be invited to the wedding. I told the photographer not to get any shots with her in them and she is seated away from me. Any more ideas to keep me sane on my big day without worrying about her!!

[Angel]

First off i am very sorry you have to deal with this on the happiest day of your life. You need to just concentrate on what you want and your day. Just completely forget about her and maybe mention it to your personal attendant so that if you start to get upset she can remove the problem, maybe steal you away or take your father's girlfriend away. Just forget her, she does not need to be involved with anything.
hope this helps
Angel

[swelch]

What a charming, loving daughter-in-law you will make.
I feel sorry for your future husband.

[lanzourasskiss]

I would tell my father that I didn't want his girlfriend at my wedding...it's your day after all...not his or hers. I would put my foot down. If she treats you poorly it probably won't end up working out between her and your father anyway.

[Augustboundtoo]

I will continue to pray for you that you may find peace within yourself and stop trying to harm others with your words.

What a charming, loving daughter-in-law you will make.
I feel sorry for your future husband.

[Augustboundtoo]

Unfortunately I have a similar situation. You can't control her actions but you can control your reactions to her. "Fake it till you make it" whenever she does something that is harmful towards you don't react. I don't know why your dad's girlfriend wants to harm you and she may not even realize it. But don't give her the satifaction of knowing she has wounded you. When she does act out think of the nicest thing you can and say it back. You will in turn empower yourself and be the bigger person.

Limiting your time with her is a great idea as well.

As for the rest of your life.....who knows she is just your dad's girlfriend. And they say hold your friends close but hold your enemies even closer.

Best of luck and many blessings.

[Sarah]

My sympathies! I am the matron of honor for a wedding in August, and in this case, the unpleasant ones are the bride's family. They are alternately sweet/buddy-buddy and incredibly vicious. :( But in their case, they don't know any better. Bad decisions and emotional problems run in the family, and knowing that they are all sick people, I can't be angry with them. I'm just trying to minimize any negative impact they may try to have on the bride. If you look past your father's girlfriend's behavior to what may or may not be causing it (i.e. it may not even have anything to do with you; maybe this is how she treats everyone), it may be easier to not let it bother you. Try to see her as someone who is probably hurting or scared, and you may not be as hurt by her actions. Good luck!

P.S. Does your father know how she treats you? Maybe you could sit down and talk to him about the whole situation, and try to find a mutually acceptable compromise.

[ToddsGirl]

I do not get along well with my father's girlfriend of 15 years. She and I haven't spoken in almost two years and only see each other in Nov & Dec. I guess I will have to invite her and since she is family, include her in some of the wedding stuff(as little as possible). On the day of the wedding though, I will have my bridal guard's number two priority of keeping her away from me.

And to those that replied that this girl is being mean in some way... I am sure that there are people in your life that you don't feel love for, and you have no idea what has led up to current situations.

[iviissbrandi]

My best friend went thru the same thing! I was her guard. My best advice just don't let her defeat you, this is your day! I really think you need to talk about this to your dad, and trust me a photographer will wimp out when duty calls * (please trust me)!
We'd all like to think others are a pleasant as us, but some really aren't! If it's jealousy that is the cause: ignore it, you already know your important! You have to let go of this fear, if not you will cause yourself more worry and depression... You have a beautiful new life ahead of you and she's just not worth it!
Brandi

[HeatherLee]

Im sorry that you and your dad's gf do not get along very well.

I do have to say that you shouldn't worry about her on your wedding day.. and I highly think that you will. I think you and your fiance will be more focused on yourselves then who is around you.

If she knows you don't like her, and she doesn't like you, then maybe she wont come?

As much as you don't like this woman, I would try your best to just try and get along with her for the sake of you and your fathers relationship.

[kittycarial]

You know, people have to realize that this is a legitimate problem and that you are NOT being catty. From what you said, she is the one who has the problem with you. I had the same exact problem, myself. My dad's wife is horrible. She tries to keep him from his children. I just dealt with it at my wedding. Maybe you could ask one of your bridesmaids to stay with you if she approaches you. Therefore, she could defend you while you walk away.