destination wedding = elopement?

[Elaine]

My fiance and I have decided to have an intimate destination wedding just the two of us. We've told our family and friends of our plans and they are all handling it well. I'm surprised, actually, at how well.

But I'm just curious. My sister and some of my friends are saying we're eloping. This hurts my feelings because I don't think of this as an elopement. We're not running away and doing anything in secret, we're just not inviting anyone.

I feel like this is a big difference. I think elopements are rude and secretive. I think destination weddings are romantic and practical.

We have a plethora of reasons for our choice:
Given the fact that my fiance and I live in Las Vegas, we MUST leave town for our wedding if we want our memories to have that romantic glow.
We would rather spend our money on our first home and retirement than on one day of festivities.
Some of my family members can't get along together at social functions.
Some of both of our families are alcoholics who could cause a problem in social settings.
We want our wedding on our anniversary, which is a Thursday, so it would be difficult for many guests to attend.
I, personally, don't want to worry about being a good hostess to my guests on MY big day. Yes, it's a little selfish, but I'd really rather give all my attention to my fiance on our wedding day than to anyone else.

Anyway, I'm hurt that they are calling it an elopement. Do I just brush it off or do I let them know how I feel? (I think part of the reason they're calling it an elopement is because they know that hurts my feelings. They're hurt that they're not invited and so they are retaliating.)

[reecey]

My fiance and I have decided to have an intimate destination wedding just the two of us. We've told our family and friends of our plans and they are all handling it well. I'm surprised, actually, at how well.

But I'm just curious. My sister and some of my friends are saying we're eloping. This hurts my feelings because I don't think of this as an elopement. We're not running away and doing anything in secret, we're just not inviting anyone.

I feel like this is a big difference. I think elopements are rude and secretive. I think destination weddings are romantic and practical.

We have a plethora of reasons for our choice:
Given the fact that my fiance and I live in Las Vegas, we MUST leave town for our wedding if we want our memories to have that romantic glow.
We would rather spend our money on our first home and retirement than on one day of festivities.
Some of my family members can't get along together at social functions.
Some of both of our families are alcoholics who could cause a problem in social settings.
We want our wedding on our anniversary, which is a Thursday, so it would be difficult for many guests to attend.
I, personally, don't want to worry about being a good hostess to my guests on MY big day. Yes, it's a little selfish, but I'd really rather give all my attention to my fiance on our wedding day than to anyone else.

Anyway, I'm hurt that they are calling it an elopement. Do I just brush it off or do I let them know how I feel? (I think part of the reason they're calling it an elopement is because they know that hurts my feelings. They're hurt that they're not invited and so they are retaliating.)

Eloping is a commonly misused word - my aunt and uncle eloped - they went away on "vacation" and took my grandma - they ***e back married - that's an elopement - grandma didn't even know it was happening until they were at the park with the minister. :)
You've announced your wedding - its not an elopement - its just a generic term for not having a traditional wedding - don't take it to heart. Its like calling an SUV or a truck a "car" - its a generic term :)

[Elaine]

Thanks. I will try not to take it to heart when they say that.

[carrie s]

reecey got ot completely right. you will have a destination wedding.

we are having a destination wedding too,but we are eloping at the ame time.
we don`t think it is rude!! we have so many reasons: *we are on a small budget too! *our vows are the MOST important part of the wedding-not a fancy big receptions with 150+ guests,who mean nothing to us.*this is my second wedding.*fmil would have insisted on inviting her posh friends just because she was invited to the wedding of their children(my fiance don`t even know half of them and the other half he met only 2 or 3 times!!fmil only pretends that she has money just to keep up with that people.my fh do not want any discussions with his mom about guests lists.
*my parents on the contrary are both not very healthy anymore,they couldn`t even be part of a ceremony and reception.* some of the guys my fh socialized with before we met,would force(!) him to have a bachelor party.
he split up with them a long time ago because of their alcohol and drug problems. they would turn up at a reception too-uninvited of course.

after we return from our destination wedding we are having a small surprise reception for closests family and friends ONLY (appr.35 guests) these people are important to us.and my parents can be part of that too,because it will last for a few hours only.

we know, that everybody will be thrilled, that we got married!!!my fiance is soo reliefed that we do not have to care about fmil input and that she will not "loose her face" before her friends.if no one knows about the wedding she did not made a mistake.

elaine, go on with your wedding plans!! let people talk. have the wedding of your dreams - we will have one that`s for sure. :) :)