View Full Version : Very Sad Day
arishalom
05-07-2005, 08:27 PM
Hi Ladies,
As I have mentioned here before, my fiance's father is dying of cancer. We got the call Wednesday evening that he only has a week to live at the most. So David flew to Springfield, IL this morning to spend some time with his father in his final hours. He will be staying for a week. I will fly out Friday of next week to offer support in whatever way I can.
David called this afternoon after he got there and said his father is very, very thin and weak. He is not taking foods or liquids and is on a morphine drip. David said the hospice nurses don't think he'll last more than 48 hours. He said he really doesn't know if being there will make it harder or easier to deal with his dad's death. His dad is slipping in and out of consciousness, hallucinating, etc. He said he thinks his dad knows he's there. I told him I'm sure that his dad knows he's there or can sense it and I believe David will get a sign that will bring some peace in knowing that his dad knows.
I don't mean to be a bummer tonight, but this is so hard. I have only met his dad once-last summer when his health turned for the worst. I would love the opportunity to see him again and hug him and tell him I love him one more time, but if I don't get that chance I'm sure he knows. :(
I am so sorry to hear this and wish you both the best of luck. Your FH will definately get a sign of some sort knowing that his dad knows he is there. This is going to be a very hard time in his life and he will need you to be very supportive of him. God Bless all of you who are dealing with this situation and I will keep you all in my prayers.
arishalom
05-07-2005, 09:28 PM
I am so sorry to hear this and wish you both the best of luck. Your FH will definately get a sign of some sort knowing that his dad knows he is there. This is going to be a very hard time in his life and he will need you to be very supportive of him. God Bless all of you who are dealing with this situation and I will keep you all in my prayers.
Thank you-it's very tough and I hate being here and not there, but since I just started a new job Monday, the only thing I can do is fly out this coming Friday. I have the horrible gut feeling his dad will have slipped away by then. :(
Thank you-it's very tough and I hate being here and not there, but since I just started a new job Monday, the only thing I can do is fly out this coming Friday. I have the horrible gut feeling his dad will have slipped away by then. :(
I am very sorry you can not go join them right now. Just make sure that your FH knows once his dad does go he can call you and talk to you over the phone. Just remember his dad will be going to a much better place and will no longer suffer from his ailments.
reecey
05-07-2005, 09:46 PM
Hi Ladies,
As I have mentioned here before, my fiance's father is dying of cancer. We got the call Wednesday evening that he only has a week to live at the most. So David flew to Springfield, IL this morning to spend some time with his father in his final hours. He will be staying for a week. I will fly out Friday of next week to offer support in whatever way I can.
David called this afternoon after he got there and said his father is very, very thin and weak. He is not taking foods or liquids and is on a morphine drip. David said the hospice nurses don't think he'll last more than 48 hours. He said he really doesn't know if being there will make it harder or easier to deal with his dad's death. His dad is slipping in and out of consciousness, hallucinating, etc. He said he thinks his dad knows he's there. I told him I'm sure that his dad knows he's there or can sense it and I believe David will get a sign that will bring some peace in knowing that his dad knows.
I don't mean to be a bummer tonight, but this is so hard. I have only met his dad once-last summer when his health turned for the worst. I would love the opportunity to see him again and hug him and tell him I love him one more time, but if I don't get that chance I'm sure he knows. :(
I'm sorry to hear that - a death of a loved one is hard on everyone - and espcially on you since you can't be there - it leaves you with a feeling of helplessness. Just remember that by listening to your FH, even if on the phone. Even if there's just silence, he KNOWS you're there for him. Just like he'll always be there for you. Take comfort in the fact that his dad won't be suffering anymore and will always be with him in spirit. I think that it will in the long run be easier on him that he was there - he will get to say his final goodbye and reassure his dad that he will be okay. That's very important to parents.
Kelly1Mickey
05-07-2005, 11:20 PM
I am so sorry you and your FH are having to go through this. But as the other girls have said...at least his suffering will be over. And his family has a chance to say their goodbyes. I understand what your FH means when he said it might be harder to have you there. All of us have certain peole we can be 'weak' with. Right now, as much as your FH is hurting, he is probably holding it together some for the sake of his family. But the moment he sees you, he will completely break down. He knows he can count on you and not have to be 'strong'. And that will be what he needs.
I have been through a similar situation with my FH. His step-dad passed away last year while on vacation at the resort that I work at. It was very unexpected (cardiac arrest at only 46 yrs old), and my FH's biggest regret is not telling him that he loved him enough. I hope you get out to see your FH's dad, but he will know how you feel either way.
Lacey
05-08-2005, 07:55 AM
I'm so sorry that you, you FH, and his family have to go through this at what should be such a happy time. Although his father is in a lot of pain right now, it will soon pass and he will be in a better place. Your FH's father does know he is there and that he is loved very much. The human mind works in very mysterious ways. He just isn't able to communicate it through the sickness, pain, and medications that doctors have him on.
Just be there for your fiance and his family. They need someone who is able to be strong and able to keep it all together. It is a dirty job but someone has to do it. I certainly hope that you get to make it out to say your goodbyes to your FH's father. Is there anyway that you can arrainge it through your job to get a couple of days off so that you can at least make it to the funeral for your fiance? Talk with your boss, often times people are much more understanding than you think.
Until then keep us posted. We will all be thinking of you and your family.
c_cheff
05-08-2005, 10:13 AM
arishalom,
I'm so sorry to hear that things are at this point with your FH's father. I just want to let you know that you are both in our prayers as well as the rest of your 'extended' family. This is a trying time in your lives and it will be difficult but with each other's love and support, you can get through this hard time a little easier. Good luck and God Bless.
c_cheff