Mad bride to be

[A MAD BRIDE-2-BE]

My wedding is in four weeks, and i am very upset. I have 8 bridesmaids that are all my sisters and they have been giving me problems since day one. the reason i put all of them in the wedding in the first place is because i didn't want to choose. now that the time is getting closer and closer the worse they are getting. the problem is i am having the first wedding in the family. they refuse to do what i want, what i am asking is that everybody get to the church at 1:00 p.m., because the wedding start at 4 and they need to get their make-up done the problem is that they are forgetting that it is my day and everybody want to be the star at my wedding. And can you believe on my wedding day they made plans to do something elso so they want to leave the reception early. They already left early for my bridal shower because they planned another function on my day. Just pray for me This is free advice to everyone that is planning a wedding, don't pick bridesmaids that are not married.


Now I have 9 days to go to the big day, this wedding planning is really a rollar coaster. The girls dresses are ready. finally after two months. Everybody is so into how they look that they completely forgot it was my wedding. the problem now is we are all getting our make-up professionally done and i was suppose to be the last person to get mine done because i am the bride. But i got a email from my stepmother saying she wants to be the last one getting her make up down because she don't want to get there early. So i decided this was a battle i don't want to fight so i said fine i'll go earlier, so when i told my MOH she be***e very upset that i changed my plans for her. So please tell me should i have kept it the way it was or should i have let her go last?

[esp1087]

My wedding is in four weeks, and i am very upset. I have 8 bridesmaids that are all my sisters and they have been giving me problems since day one. the reason i put all of them in the wedding in the first place is because i didn't want to choose. now that the time is getting closer and closer the worse they are getting. the problem is i am having the first wedding in the family. they refuse to do what i want, what i am asking is that everybody get to the church at 1:00 p.m., because the wedding start at 4 and they need to get their make-up done the problem is that they are forgetting that it is my day and everybody want to be the star at my wedding. And can you believe on my wedding day they made plans to do something elso so they want to leave the reception early. They already left early for my bridal shower because they planned another function on my day. Just pray for me This is free advice to everyone that is planning a wedding, don't pick bridesmaids that are not married.
I am sorry that you are having so many problems, but I don't think you should be so hard on those that are not married... I am the first of my group of friends getting married and the first in my immediate family (my cousin got married a year and a half ago). Everyone has been very helpful. All of my bridesmaids are not married and doing an INCREDIBLE job. I think that it is unfair to say you shouldn't pick bridesmaids that aren't married... I think what you should say is that you shouldn't pick bridesmaids that you see being difficult, jealous, or unsupportive. That I think is what is unfortunately happening for you. I'm sorry and I hope that your sisters come around. If not, don't be afraid to stand up to them and set them straight. It sounds to me like they have needed that for a while. Good luck!
Elizabeth

[reecey]

My wedding is in four weeks, and i am very upset. I have 8 bridesmaids that are all my sisters and they have been giving me problems since day one. the reason i put all of them in the wedding in the first place is because i didn't want to choose. now that the time is getting closer and closer the worse they are getting. the problem is i am having the first wedding in the family. they refuse to do what i want, what i am asking is that everybody get to the church at 1:00 p.m., because the wedding start at 4 and they need to get their make-up done the problem is that they are forgetting that it is my day and everybody want to be the star at my wedding. And can you believe on my wedding day they made plans to do something elso so they want to leave the reception early. They already left early for my bridal shower because they planned another function on my day. Just pray for me This is free advice to everyone that is planning a wedding, don't pick bridesmaids that are not married.


I think that maybe you should be more specific - don't pick people who aren't married if they act like they're still in the 7th grade. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this, can your mom help out and get them in line? or maybe your dad?

[A MAD BRIDE-2-BE]

[QUOTE=esp1087]I am sorry that you are having so many problems, but I don't think you should be so hard on those that are not married... I am the first of my group of friends getting married and the first in my immediate family (my cousin got married a year and a half ago). Everyone has been very helpful. All of my bridesmaids are not married and doing an INCREDIBLE job. I think that it is unfair to say you shouldn't pick bridesmaids that aren't married... I think what you should say is that you shouldn't pick bridesmaids that you see being difficult, jealous, or unsupportive. That I think is what is unfortunately happening for you. I'm sorry and I hope that your sisters come around. If not, don't be afraid to stand up to them and set them straight. It sounds to me like they have needed that for a while. Good luck!
Elizabeth[/QUOTE
Thank you and you are absolutely right, all bridesmaid are demons, just my sisters. My approach from the beginning was that i didn't want to pressure them because i knew their situations, but now i am standing up and i guess i had to get in my head that it is MY wedding. Didn't mean to offend no one, i hope dont no bride to be have to go through what i go through because it is a head ache. And once again, thanks for the support.

[A MAD BRIDE-2-BE]

I think that maybe you should be more specific - don't pick people who aren't married if they act like they're still in the 7th grade. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this, can your mom help out and get them in line? or maybe your dad?
My mom and dad is deceased. but i do have a stepmother who is trying. When i chose them i had no idea this was the way it was gone turn out this way, but i do pray everynight and i know God gone make everything better.

[Daisies1983]

I have 5 bridesmaids, one that is married but none of them are helpful. MY MOH is making me so ill, I cannot hardly think of her without seeing red. She seriously has not shown any interest in looking, or going, or just talking ANYTHING about the wedding. (despite my offers) I realize she's busy - so I cut her some slack. I realize this is my wedding and she could get tired of hearing about it - IF I talked to her about it. I am willing to cut her slack...but ****! I have been engaged since Feb. 12 2005 - and its now May - we have not once gone anywhere....we've not even looked at a wedding magazine together!! Anyway, sorry - this is your rant, not mine - but I know how you feel. And I have no words of wisdom and I'm not going to crack on you for saying only married women show an interest, cause I know what you mean. Hope it gets better - and at least you've learned something about your sisters/ what you are going to do at their wedding(s).

[Kelly1Mickey]

I disagree that ONLY married women show interest. I think it is just that married women are more empathetic to what the bride is going through. They know all your emotions and all of the things you have to get done. I was my best friends MOH and I know I did the best I could, but now that I am planning my own wedding, I think I could have done better. I mean, I went with to interview vendors, I threw a really great shower (not to toot my own horn or anything..LOL) and I think I threw a pretty great bachelorette party (we went to Pleasure Island and rented a ritzy hotel room on Disney property so the hotel would provide transportation). But, now that I am planning a wedding, I think of other things she would have appreciated. I am much more aware of the details. Maybe all of us (myself included) need to talk to our non-married bridesmaids and explain what their duties are. And let them know what we need. Maybe if they are totally clueless, pick them up a book that covers all the things that bridesmaids are responsible for. I have one that I got from Barnes & Nobles that was very thorough for myself when I was a MOH.

[esp1087]

I agree that you may have to sit them down and tell them what is expected of them... My bridesmaids (who are all not married) have been incredible though. They asked me what they could do to help and what they should be responsible for, etc. I will usually send out emails to them to arrange to get together to do something for the wedding such as invitations, folding cake boxes, making the favors, etc.

They are more than willing to help. They just need a little direction... I don't think it really matters whether they are married or not. It matters if they want to help you and be involved.

[A MAD BRIDE-2-BE]

I have 5 bridesmaids, one that is married but none of them are helpful. MY MOH is making me so ill, I cannot hardly think of her without seeing red. She seriously has not shown any interest in looking, or going, or just talking ANYTHING about the wedding. (despite my offers) I realize she's busy - so I cut her some slack. I realize this is my wedding and she could get tired of hearing about it - IF I talked to her about it. I am willing to cut her slack...but ****! I have been engaged since Feb. 12 2005 - and its now May - we have not once gone anywhere....we've not even looked at a wedding magazine together!! Anyway, sorry - this is your rant, not mine - but I know how you feel. And I have no words of wisdom and I'm not going to crack on you for saying only married women show an interest, cause I know what you mean. Hope it gets better - and at least you've learned something about your sisters/ what you are going to do at their wedding(s).
You know what that just the thing, i would never treat them the way they treat me. And one of them is getting married next year and want me to be in it, my fiance say give her hell but i can't because i wouldn't want nobody to go through what i've been through.

[A MAD BRIDE-2-BE]

I agree that you may have to sit them down and tell them what is expected of them... My bridesmaids (who are all not married) have been incredible though. They asked me what they could do to help and what they should be responsible for, etc. I will usually send out emails to them to arrange to get together to do something for the wedding such as invitations, folding cake boxes, making the favors, etc.

They are more than willing to help. They just need a little direction... I don't think it really matters whether they are married or not. It matters if they want to help you and be involved.
You just dont know how lucky you are. help me fold a box yeah right, i folded all 250 cake boxes. i did everything by myself basically

[reecey]

You know what that just the thing, i would never treat them the way they treat me. And one of them is getting married next year and want me to be in it, my fiance say give her hell but i can't because i wouldn't want nobody to go through what i've been through.


Well, maybe you should use that as an example...ask her if she wants you to give her the type of treatment that you're receiving from her while she's planning her wedding. Don't stoop to the level of a lower thinking person. It'll just hurt you more in the end.
You could always try with your stepmom - or an aunt maybe?