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[maybride]

As mentioned in another thread, my two ringbearers are the sons of my FH's brother. They are beautiful, smart kids and I love them. The problem is this. I don't feel we really chose them to be in the wedding party. We were kindly nudged into this corner by his well intentioned family. My brothers each have two sons of their own that I would have liked to consider for the part. Two of them are too old and one of them is a little too rambunctious to be a well mannered ring bearer. So that left one of my nephews and one of his to consider. Before we could finish discussing this amongst ourselves, his family just assumed it would be his nephew rather than mine. We were still tossing around the idea of even having one at all because the candidates were both four years old and we had been told by our priest that it would be safe to keep everyone participating at least over the age of five. Anyway, we somehow wound up with the four year old and I had come to terms with it. Now his brother has said that his four year old won't make it down the isle without the three year old little brother. This leaves me with two ringbearers from his side of the family and none from mine. Again, I had to come to terms with the fact that we have to compromise to keep everyone comfortable. I explained to my family that we were pushed into the decision and it had nothing to do with my nephew not being up to par. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can make my nephews feel a part of the wedding too? I don't want my brother and his wife to have to pay for two more tuxedos. They are both in the wedding and already had to pay for their outfits and the plane tickets, hotel rooms and rental car. I am going to feel lousy at the rehearsal dinner giving my ringbearers their gifts and nothing to my nephews. The four year old is very proud of his title and will be announcing it to all. I just don't want my side of the family to be hurt. Any suggestions?

[cl_peterson]

Here are a couple ideas:

1. You said you would like to include the other boys, but don't want them to have to pay for more tuxedos... One solution would be to not have any of the kids wear tuxedos. Find other attire at a national store like Sears, then all the boys can dress the same for cheap. Just do nice pants and a dress shirt with maybe a bowtie.

2. If you want to include all the kids in the wedding ceremony, here is something that one of my friends did at their wedding that was really cute. She had flags made (I'm sure you can find craft ideas on the web and make the flags in your wedding colors or with ribbon would be pretty too). At the end of the ceremony after the officiant anounced them as husband and wife, she has someone ring a bell, that signaled all the little kids to line up in the aisle, and the kids waved their little flags as the bride and groom exited down the aisle. It was really adorable.

[cl_peterson]

The other good thing about doing something like the flags, is that you can do away with the ringbearer idea. Tell the kids and their parents that the flags are very important and special to the ceremony and that you want all the kids to do it together so noone feels left out. Then if they are all just flag children, they can really wear whatever they want, they don't have to all match.

[maybride]

The other good thing about doing something like the flags, is that you can do away with the ringbearer idea. Tell the kids and their parents that the flags are very important and special to the ceremony and that you want all the kids to do it together so noone feels left out. Then if they are all just flag children, they can really wear whatever they want, they don't have to all match.
The ringbearers have already been measured for their tuxedos and I think his brother would be upset by the idea. Do you think it would be okay to ask my nephews to do the flags alone and that way they have their own assignment at the wedding?

[reecey]

The ringbearers have already been measured for their tuxedos and I think his brother would be upset by the idea. Do you think it would be okay to ask my nephews to do the flags alone and that way they have their own assignment at the wedding?


I think it would be extra special for them! You could even greet them specifically as you walk back down the isle - its something special for them to do and they don't have to wear a "monkey suit!" :)

[Kelly1Mickey]

I think the flags are a great idea! I was considering doing something like that, but with 'wand' with ribbons on the ends. Another idea, does your church have a bell? We are having one child ring the bell at the chapel at my wedding.