View Full Version : Head Table help
maybride
04-13-2005, 05:12 PM
My head table was going to consist of me, my FH, the MOH, her husband (who is also a groomsman), the BM and his wife (who is also my bridesmaid). Now the BM's two sons are going to be my ringbearers and I don't want them at the head table. They are great kids, but they are very enthusiastic when they are around me and my FH. It's flattering but I don't want to babysit them through the reception. They are 3 and 4 years old. I don't know whether to ask if they can sit with their grandparents (my future-in-laws), or just seat the BM (who is my FH's brother) and his wife with everyone else. My MOH is my sister and I definitely want her sitting with us at the head table but don't want to exclude his BM if he will feel insulted. Does anyone have ideas on how to handle this tactfully? When originally planning our wedding, we both said neither one of us wanted a sweetheart table. I never get to see my sister as she lives in a different state. Please help!
reecey
04-13-2005, 05:35 PM
My head table was going to consist of me, my FH, the MOH, her husband (who is also a groomsman), the BM and his wife (who is also my bridesmaid). Now the BM's two sons are going to be my ringbearers and I don't want them at the head table. They are great kids, but they are very enthusiastic when they are around me and my FH. It's flattering but I don't want to babysit them through the reception. They are 3 and 4 years old. I don't know whether to ask if they can sit with their grandparents (my future-in-laws), or just seat the BM (who is my FH's brother) and his wife with everyone else. My MOH is my sister and I definitely want her sitting with us at the head table but don't want to exclude his BM if he will feel insulted. Does anyone have ideas on how to handle this tactfully? When originally planning our wedding, we both said neither one of us wanted a sweetheart table. I never get to see my sister as she lives in a different state. Please help!
many times the children in the wedding don't sit at the head table. Its perfectly okay to seat them with the grandparents or another close adult to watch over them and help them with food, etc. Keep your bridal party in tact at the head table and have the children sit with grandparents, etc.
maybride
04-13-2005, 06:07 PM
many times the children in the wedding don't sit at the head table. Its perfectly okay to seat them with the grandparents or another close adult to watch over them and help them with food, etc. Keep your bridal party in tact at the head table and have the children sit with grandparents, etc.
My FH's brother is kind of sensitive. I am afraid he will take it as a personal attack on his kids and their behavior. He is not the quiet type either. If he feels wronged, the whole family will know. Any suggestions on how to bring it up without creating drama in the family?
nmb082005
04-13-2005, 07:38 PM
My FH's brother is kind of sensitive. I am afraid he will take it as a personal attack on his kids and their behavior. He is not the quiet type either. If he feels wronged, the whole family will know. Any suggestions on how to bring it up without creating drama in the family?
It is fine to have child attendents not sit at the head table, my flower girl will be sitting with her parents (my dad and stepmom) and my ringbearer (our son) will be sitting with at the same table with all his garndpaernts. I would think it would be obvious that it is nothing against his kids considering you have already included them as a part of the wedding party. but if he complains you could say that you just thought it would be really nice if the grandparents would watch them so that way you all can relax and just enjoy the dinner together.
It is fine to have child attendents not sit at the head table, my flower girl will be sitting with her parents (my dad and stepmom) and my ringbearer (our son) will be sitting with at the same table with all his garndpaernts. I would think it would be obvious that it is nothing against his kids considering you have already included them as a part of the wedding party. but if he complains you could say that you just thought it would be really nice if the grandparents would watch them so that way you all can relax and just enjoy the dinner together.
I agree with nmb and reecey. The children in the wedding party usually sit with the relatives during the reception. You can simply ask your FH's brother to have the children sit at the grandparents. Just say the space for the head table is limited and you want to make sure your MOH, BM, bridesmaid(s), and groomsmen(s) all are at the head table. If he brings up the fact the children are in the wedding let him know the flower girl will also be sitting with her family.
reecey
04-14-2005, 06:50 AM
My FH's brother is kind of sensitive. I am afraid he will take it as a personal attack on his kids and their behavior. He is not the quiet type either. If he feels wronged, the whole family will know. Any suggestions on how to bring it up without creating drama in the family?
You could tell him that the grandparents would like the kids to sit with them to allow him and his wife to have a "meal with adults" and give the grandparents time to spoil the children :) Let him know that there simply isn't enough room to include the children at the head table as well. You could even pull a "well, etiquette states that children in the bridal party don't sit at the head table" :) (I'm not sure if it does or not, but I'm sure he doesn't know either)
Yodabean
04-14-2005, 07:20 AM
I have heard of people also having a desiginated kids table at the reception. I have never actually been to a reception that had one but I think it would be a cute Idea. That way you could have things set up for the kids to do at their table. Now since they are your "speical ringbearers" you could do something special maybe with their chairs decorated or something so they still feel like part of everything yet giving you and their parents room to enjoy the wedding to the fullest.
I guess if people do the kids table thing they would have to have someone watching the kids table....anyone know how that works? Which adult gets stuck at the kids table when you have one?
SOM Z28
04-14-2005, 08:05 AM
I was thinking "kid's table" too. Especially if there will be other kids there. Then you can put out crayons and coloring books or something that will keep them occupied.
Of you could have the kids in a separate room, if space allows, for the kids, with someone to keep an eye on them. This way they are occupied and supervised and not getting in the way or causing a scene.
Neither of these ideas are new and wouldn't be considered rude. Hope this helps.
reecey
04-14-2005, 08:40 AM
I have heard of people also having a desiginated kids table at the reception. I have never actually been to a reception that had one but I think it would be a cute Idea. That way you could have things set up for the kids to do at their table. Now since they are your "speical ringbearers" you could do something special maybe with their chairs decorated or something so they still feel like part of everything yet giving you and their parents room to enjoy the wedding to the fullest.
I guess if people do the kids table thing they would have to have someone watching the kids table....anyone know how that works? Which adult gets stuck at the kids table when you have one?
What a great idea! It keeps the kids from getting bored at the reception, especially during the formalities - and the parents don't have to worry about them either :)
Yodabean
04-14-2005, 12:20 PM
For those of you that have been at weddings that did this with the kids table or those of you that are doing it at yours who are you getting to watch the kids table? someone you are just hiring or someone that was invited to the reception?
Debbie
04-14-2005, 12:29 PM
I am planning to get kid's corner with some activities for the kids. Didn't even think of getting anyone to look after them, but if I have to do that - I will just get a school girl for the job.
reecey
04-14-2005, 12:44 PM
For those of you that have been at weddings that did this with the kids table or those of you that are doing it at yours who are you getting to watch the kids table? someone you are just hiring or someone that was invited to the reception?
I'm having a teenage cousin take care of it with a friend of hers who will also be babysitting the kiddos that night at my sister's house across the street when they get tired or the parents want to send them :)
For those of you that have been at weddings that did this with the kids table or those of you that are doing it at yours who are you getting to watch the kids table? someone you are just hiring or someone that was invited to the reception?
I am doing this at my reception. I am setting the kids table up so the kids can have a variety of activities to do during the reception. I have thought of hiring someone to help watch the kids but decided not to do that. Most of the parents whom are invited to my wedding/reception keep a good eye out for their kids so having someone come in just to watch the kids would have been an unnecessary expense. I talked with my mom about this and she agrees that the parents will keep an eye on the kids and can take turns over at the childrens area. Plus, if you put the childrens area in a relatively good spot the people attending the reception will be able to tell if something is wrong.
However, if you feel there might be a problem with parents not watching out for their children then I would hire someone. I also feel it depends on if you are serving alcohol or not. I am not serving alcohol so everyone will be aware of what is happening. If you are serving alcohol one thing which might happen is the parents get drunk and then forget the kids are there. In this case you would need to make sure someone is there specifically to watch the children.
reecey
04-14-2005, 02:36 PM
I am doing this at my reception. I am setting the kids table up so the kids can have a variety of activities to do during the reception. I have thought of hiring someone to help watch the kids but decided not to do that. Most of the parents whom are invited to my wedding/reception keep a good eye out for their kids so having someone come in just to watch the kids would have been an unnecessary expense. I talked with my mom about this and she agrees that the parents will keep an eye on the kids and can take turns over at the childrens area. Plus, if you put the childrens area in a relatively good spot the people attending the reception will be able to tell if something is wrong.
However, if you feel there might be a problem with parents not watching out for their children then I would hire someone. I also feel it depends on if you are serving alcohol or not. I am not serving alcohol so everyone will be aware of what is happening. If you are serving alcohol one thing which might happen is the parents get drunk and then forget the kids are there. In this case you would need to make sure someone is there specifically to watch the children.
I agree - I don't have to worry about parents watching out for their kids, and the kids are well behaved, I just chose to have those there that I want so that the kids are aquainted with them before taking them off later during the reception when they're being babysat. I think it will help to establish a good rapport between the kids and the babysitters and it'll show the kids that the parents are okay with these people :)
maybride
04-14-2005, 04:49 PM
Thanks so much for the advice! I am going to simply ask them if they would like for the children to sit at their grandparents' table or if they would prefer to be seated at the table with them and their grandparents. I guess if I only offer those two options he will have to understand that the children should not be seated at the head table. If I have to say it, I guess I will blame ettiquette like suggested.
As for the kid's table, I would have loved to set one up, but there are not enough children attending to warrant one. Not to mention, my niece who usually gets the job of watching the kids is 19 now and I would prefer for her to be able to celebrate this occassion with the adults. She has been a terrific help with everything.
MauiGirl
04-15-2005, 08:24 AM
I never would have thought about having a kids table; I think it's a great idea. I have about 15-20 kids coming to our reception and I think a table of their own would be neat. I could get **** and coloring books for them to play with. :D Thank you for the idea.
I never would have thought about having a kids table; I think it's a great idea. I have about 15-20 kids coming to our reception and I think a table of their own would be neat. I could get **** and coloring books for them to play with. :D Thank you for the idea.
We are actually making the coloring book for the kids. Each coloring book will have around 30 pages for them to color or do the different activities. I picked out different wedding pictures with some characters, some mazes, some search words, tic tac toe boards, and the dot game. We are going to get some thicker paper and put the books together. I made a cover for the book which has two hearts, our names, and date of wedding on the front. Here is a picture of the cover.
MauiGirl
04-15-2005, 08:47 AM
We are actually making the coloring book for the kids. Each coloring book will have around 30 pages for them to color or do the different activities. I picked out different wedding pictures with some characters, some mazes, some search words, tic tac toe boards, and the dot game. We are going to get some thicker paper and put the books together. I made a cover for the book which has two hearts, our names, and date of wedding on the front. Here is a picture of the cover.
That's a great idea. there wasn't a picture of the cover though. ;)