don't pick... Ideas to avoid Bridal Party problems

[heather13]

My fiance and I agree that the bridal party seems highly unnecessary... buying a dress, renting a tuxedo and standing in the front of the church seems pointless and wasteful, esp. on a budget. We are having an unconventional wedding, but we still have a large # of people who might expect such an honor. We want to honor them somehow, if only by a special bouquet, or I even suggested, all my college friends wear a shades of green, all my highschool friends wear shades of blue, and my post college friends wear another... but we thought that might ostracize the few remaining females in the audience. Any creative ideas?

Thanks so much!

[koolade]

My fiance and I agree that the bridal party seems highly unnecessary... buying a dress, renting a tuxedo and standing in the front of the church seems pointless and wasteful, esp. on a budget. We are having an unconventional wedding, but we still have a large # of people who might expect such an honor. We want to honor them somehow, if only by a special bouquet, or I even suggested, all my college friends wear a shades of green, all my highschool friends wear shades of blue, and my post college friends wear another... but we thought that might ostracize the few remaining females in the audience. Any creative ideas?

Thanks so much!


if you wanna go with the whole different colors for different groups of friends, having the few remaining wear yet another color. other than that, maybe some could do a reading, or sing, or even just be mentioned as guests of honor(obviously not all of them cuz that could be pretty lengthly i assume). the bouquet thing is a nice idea as well, but that could really add up, unless you plan on making them yourself and using silk flowers. good luck!

[Kelly1Mickey]

Heather13...as always this is your day...do what you want. But I personally don't like your idea about dressing each 'group' of your friends in a different color. For one thing, they might not like being told to wear a certain color. And why seperate you friends like that? This is a great chance for everyone to mix and mingle and talk about how wonderful you and your FH are! Don't discourage that by taking away the easiest "getting to know you opening line"..."How do you know the bride/groom?". Color coding your friends would answer that question without anyone having the opportunity to ask.

I think the bouquets would be a great idea, but costly. What about having certain "honored" guests have assigned seats along the aisle, then as you leave the ceremony hand each "honored" guest a single flower from your bouquet?

I hope I didn't hurt your feelings...I would want any of you to tell me honestly if you didn't like one of my ideas though.

[nle5]

Heather13...as always this is your day...do what you want. But I personally don't like your idea about dressing each 'group' of your friends in a different color. For one thing, they might not like being told to wear a certain color. And why seperate you friends like that? This is a great chance for everyone to mix and mingle and talk about how wonderful you and your FH are! Don't discourage that by taking away the easiest "getting to know you opening line"..."How do you know the bride/groom?". Color coding your friends would answer that question without anyone having the opportunity to ask.

I think the bouquets would be a great idea, but costly. What about having certain "honored" guests have assigned seats along the aisle, then as you leave the ceremony hand each "honored" guest a single flower from your bouquet?

I hope I didn't hurt your feelings...I would want any of you to tell me honestly if you didn't like one of my ideas though.

Kelly,
I am with you on this one. When I first read the post I didn't know how I felt and then reading yours helped me make my mind up. You can have the guests sit near the aisle and hand them a flower from your bouquet. If you want to preserve your bouquet from the wedding you can always have one that you will carry on the way down the aisle made up and still have yours to preserve. Just have someone else pick up your bouquet from the front of the church or hand it to your mom on your way out. My bouquet is going to have two crystal flowers in it that I will present one to my mom as I walk down the aisle before the wedding and then one in which I will present to my FH's mom as we turn to walk down the aisle as a married couple. These crystal roses will be placed in my bouquet so as I take them out they will not ruin the rest of the bouquet and will not get broke.

[esp1087]

You could also honor them by mentioning them in your ceremony program.

[SusanM18]

I absolutely agree with Kelly and nle5. This seems like a good idea, but what if people in that group, hate the way they look in green, and you are limiting their options on what to wear. You can do things like these girls have suggested, and you can even do things like, designate certain people to help you (go the bathroom, touch up makeup) etc.

[dankel]

My fiance and I agree that the bridal party seems highly unnecessary... buying a dress, renting a tuxedo and standing in the front of the church seems pointless and wasteful, esp. on a budget. We are having an unconventional wedding, but we still have a large # of people who might expect such an honor. We want to honor them somehow, if only by a special bouquet, or I even suggested, all my college friends wear a shades of green, all my highschool friends wear shades of blue, and my post college friends wear another... but we thought that might ostracize the few remaining females in the audience. Any creative ideas?

Thanks so much!

You could start by adding an insert in your programs you hand out at the church, and thank all your friends by name. It could be fairly inexpensive since you could do it on your computer and it would be public recognition of those who have supported you. You could also designate special seating at the reception or have special favors made for the people you want to honor, or special glasses for them to drink from at the reception (but that could get pricey). I think the little things mean the most, and if your friends know you are having the unconventional wedding the little gestures will be much appreciated.