View Full Version : What Do I Do!!!!!! :^(
foreverinlove
03-18-2005, 11:25 AM
OKay I have a major dilemma...
I have quite a few close friends. When I was talking to one of them, she decided she was maid of honor, the thing is I dont want her as maid of honor, so I told her that. When making a list of four people I would like to have stand with me, I wrote why next to each. She didnt end up on the list mainly because of attitude and because of the fact she argued with me over dresses. She insisted to be able to go "punk" in the dress I will choose for them and I said no and she threw a fit. I have not yet asked anyone to be a bridesmaid, she has assumed and I want to let her down gently but firmly. Any ideas???
LeAnne
03-18-2005, 11:52 AM
You're definitely right to exclude her, you don't need those kind of headaches on your wedding day. Perhaps you could tell her that the other girls you chose were simply more excited about your ideas and that you don't want to create tension with her over what she'll be wearing, etc. If you want to be really honest with her without coming out and saying that her attitude was bad, you might just say that you didn't feel like she was being very supportive, and the other girls are.
Whatever you do stick to your guns and don't let her weasel her way back into your bridal party!
You're definitely right to exclude her, you don't need those kind of headaches on your wedding day. Perhaps you could tell her that the other girls you chose were simply more excited about your ideas and that you don't want to create tension with her over what she'll be wearing, etc. If you want to be really honest with her without coming out and saying that her attitude was bad, you might just say that you didn't feel like she was being very supportive, and the other girls are.
Whatever you do stick to your guns and don't let her weasel her way back into your bridal party!
I agree with LeAnne. You need to tell her firmly she is not in the wedding party. Let her know you have other really close friends that are supportive of your ideas and they are not giving you hassel over what they will wear. It's your wedding and you can plan it how you want and have who you want in your bridal party. Would giving her a part in the wedding (like a reading) work or do you not want her to even do that? Maybe you can let her know that you have your bridal party of people who are supportive of you and helping you with your ideas but offer to let her do a reading. This way it's not like your totally pushing her to the side.
foreverinlove
03-21-2005, 06:54 AM
She has gotten down to my last nerve. Over the weekend shawn and his mom and I sat down and talked about the wedding (my mom wants nothing to do with planning she has decided that she does not like that I am marrying him) and we decided we want to keep it down to all family with only the people that are going to be in our bridal party as the only other people there. That put us up to a head count of 68 people wich is not that bad at all I think, because there will be only 20 families and then the few friends. Well, when I was discussing this with anothjer friend that is not in the bridal party (she has put me at ease with decorating ideas, things like that, like my own free wedding consultant!!) the friend that is giving me trouble walked up as I said something about the bridal party. She jumps in "im in the wedding party" I said that I havent yet decided what ois going on, that it will be close family and very close friends ( I am not that close to her at all) and she started to throw a fit. I told her that I wished I could change things but we are getting help to pay for this from his family and all that. so we need to compromise with his family, and it doesnt really bother me a bit because a small wedding is better to me than one with over 150-200 guests. Any ideas on how to get her to get off my back???
reecey
03-21-2005, 07:27 AM
She has gotten down to my last nerve. Over the weekend shawn and his mom and I sat down and talked about the wedding (my mom wants nothing to do with planning she has decided that she does not like that I am marrying him) and we decided we want to keep it down to all family with only the people that are going to be in our bridal party as the only other people there. That put us up to a head count of 68 people wich is not that bad at all I think, because there will be only 20 families and then the few friends. Well, when I was discussing this with anothjer friend that is not in the bridal party (she has put me at ease with decorating ideas, things like that, like my own free wedding consultant!!) the friend that is giving me trouble walked up as I said something about the bridal party. She jumps in "im in the wedding party" I said that I havent yet decided what ois going on, that it will be close family and very close friends ( I am not that close to her at all) and she started to throw a fit. I told her that I wished I could change things but we are getting help to pay for this from his family and all that. so we need to compromise with his family, and it doesnt really bother me a bit because a small wedding is better to me than one with over 150-200 guests. Any ideas on how to get her to get off my back???
Be honest and straight-forward with her - obviously she's not too great at taking hints. You're going to have to be blunt with her -so her feelings will be hurt - she'll get over it. Its better than it stressing you from here to eternity, you taking it out on your future husband and those that ARE your friends and ARE trying to help you. So one person is a little miffed - better than everyone else and YOU being mad and upset. If she's putting you through all this, she's not a true friend anyway and you're not going to want her around anyway.
esp1087
03-21-2005, 07:30 AM
She has gotten down to my last nerve. Over the weekend shawn and his mom and I sat down and talked about the wedding (my mom wants nothing to do with planning she has decided that she does not like that I am marrying him) and we decided we want to keep it down to all family with only the people that are going to be in our bridal party as the only other people there. That put us up to a head count of 68 people wich is not that bad at all I think, because there will be only 20 families and then the few friends. Well, when I was discussing this with anothjer friend that is not in the bridal party (she has put me at ease with decorating ideas, things like that, like my own free wedding consultant!!) the friend that is giving me trouble walked up as I said something about the bridal party. She jumps in "im in the wedding party" I said that I havent yet decided what ois going on, that it will be close family and very close friends ( I am not that close to her at all) and she started to throw a fit. I told her that I wished I could change things but we are getting help to pay for this from his family and all that. so we need to compromise with his family, and it doesnt really bother me a bit because a small wedding is better to me than one with over 150-200 guests. Any ideas on how to get her to get off my back???
I agree with the other ladies. You need to set her straight and quit taking her crap... It will only get worse if you continue to let her get away with acting like a spoiled brat. Throwing a fit? Is she 2??? Do you really want someone like that in your wedding party? If I were you, I would set her straight nicely but very firmly and do it QUICKLY!!!!
Good luck,
Elizabeth
foreverinlove
03-21-2005, 07:49 AM
I am going to set her straight at lunch. Hopefully I can do it without causing a full out fight between us.
koolade
03-23-2005, 10:21 PM
I am going to set her straight at lunch. Hopefully I can do it without causing a full out fight between us.
How did things go? I hope she took it okay and not too many problems arised!
foreverinlove
03-24-2005, 06:08 AM
She took it as I didnt want to be friends with her anymore I told her that yes I did, but her acting like that was exactly why i didnt want her as part as the wedding party. She understands that we want a close family /very close friend wedding.
esp1087
03-24-2005, 06:49 AM
She took it as I didnt want to be friends with her anymore I told her that yes I did, but her acting like that was exactly why i didnt want her as part as the wedding party. She understands that we want a close family /very close friend wedding.
Glad to hear that it wasn't a fist fight... Sorry it didn't go beautifully, but from what you have said, I didn't think she had the maturity to take it gracefully.
Good luck!