Dress shopping

[Lacey]

So I went dress shopping again with my mother. God bless her she just wants to make sure that I have the perfect dress. But, three states and literally 25 stores is enough already. I have one final trip with her on Friday but then that is it. No more dress shopping. I think I have seen every dress in the free world as it is. And, 95% of them have been on my body. Besides, is there anything nastier than putting on a dress that dozens of people have had on before and has never been to the dry cleaners?

So I have it narrowed down to two dresses that I love. I honestly cannot make up my mind. I am 100% a princess bride. I LOVE the big full tulle skirts, crystal beading, and fitted bodices. My theory is this: I'll never marry royalty so this is the one time in my life that I get to wear a huge ball gown and tiara. I'm milking it for all it is worth.

So, below are the two dress that I love. I am wearing a crystal tiara and cathedral length crystal edged veil with them. Any input would be well appreciated.

http://www.demetriosbride.com/us/collections/princess_04/highres/9588.jpg

http://www.alfredangelo.com/index.cfm/fuseAction/collections.displayDetailImages/productID/827d200b-12b8-4be1-96bb-6d662303f78c

I'll update after Friday's adventure. I can't complain one bit, she really is the world's greatest mom who wants to make sure her only daughter gets an amazing wedding.

[reecey]

So I went dress shopping again with my mother. God bless her she just wants to make sure that I have the perfect dress. But, three states and literally 25 stores is enough already. I have one final trip with her on Friday but then that is it. No more dress shopping. I think I have seen every dress in the free world as it is. And, 95% of them have been on my body. Besides, is there anything nastier than putting on a dress that dozens of people have had on before and has never been to the dry cleaners?

So I have it narrowed down to two dresses that I love. I honestly cannot make up my mind. I am 100% a princess bride. I LOVE the big full tulle skirts, crystal beading, and fitted bodices. My theory is this: I'll never marry royalty so this is the one time in my life that I get to wear a huge ball gown and tiara. I'm milking it for all it is worth.

So, below are the two dress that I love. I am wearing a crystal tiara and cathedral length crystal edged veil with them. Any input would be well appreciated.

http://www.demetriosbride.com/us/collections/princess_04/highres/9588.jpg

http://www.alfredangelo.com/index.cfm/fuseAction/collections.displayDetailImages/productID/827d200b-12b8-4be1-96bb-6d662303f78c

I'll update after Friday's adventure. I can't complain one bit, she really is the world's greatest mom who wants to make sure her only daughter gets an amazing wedding.


I think they're both beautiful - the second one, to me, looks a bit more formal. It really did catch my eye - but they're both very very beautiful!

[esp1087]

I agree that both dresses are very beautiful! Personally, I like the second one more. I love the detail on that one!

[SusanM18]

I agree both are stunning, but the second one is a bit more formal and I agree the beading, etc. is absolutely amazing.

[Lacey]

Thanks for the help. The second dress is really the one that I liked better myself. This was confirmed by my maid of honor who has known my since I was 4 and my two flower girls. They say that young children are very truthful. My only concern is how it will photograph. The detail is mostly crystal but there are a few rhinestones sprinkled throughout. I am worried that they will photograph like those black little dots.

[esp1087]

Thanks for the help. The second dress is really the one that I liked better myself. This was confirmed by my maid of honor who has known my since I was 4 and my two flower girls. They say that young children are very truthful. My only concern is how it will photograph. The detail is mostly crystal but there are a few rhinestones sprinkled throughout. I am worried that they will photograph like those black little dots.
I don't think it will especially if you have a good photographer. Maybe take a disposible ***era with you to the bridal salon, try on the dress, and have a friend take a few photos. Remember that the photographer will have a much better ***era so the pictures will be better, but this will give a small idea of if your fears are warranted...

[Lacey]

Well after going almost daily for two weeks throughout three states I have finally made my decision. I am going with the Alfred Angelo dress, the second one that I listed. And tragically, it was one of the first ones that I tried on. I think the fact that when I walked out of the dressing the seamstress exclaimed, "She looks like Cinderella!" in the most adorable little Italian accent really sold me. :D Surprisingly, it is also one of the least expensive dresses that I tried on. Usually, anything I like comes with a huge price tag.

Today in one of the dress shops I found the bridesmaid dresses that I want too. They are an empire waisted dress with a small sweep train in the back. Around the empire waist is a ribbon that ties in a bow and hangs to the floor. I think I am going with a soft pink for the dress with a white ribbon. Really, I have to go with soft pink and white since those are my wedding colors.

I am just happy that this is one more thing to check off of that dreaded list. The Martha Stewart Wedding Checklist is like 500 pages long. I swear, that woman is on crack when I read some of those articles. Like I have time to plant my own garden of flowers to use in my wedding. I'm lucky if I have time sneeze some days.

Tomorrow I meet with a photographer. From the CD that she sent me, her work is very good and her price is amazing. She only does this as a hobby on the weekends but seems very talented. After that, onto finding a ceremony site. Any suggestions? And, no, not a single church in the city of Pittsbrugh will speak to me. AHHH! :mad:

[WillsBride2006]

why won't any church talk to you?

[Lacey]

why won't any church talk to you?
Because, neither my fiance nor I are members of any church. I literally called through the yellow pages. Almost every church withing a five mile radius requires us to be members for at least one full year before we would be allowed to book our wedding there. So I would really be gambling with the time frame. Not to mention that at least one of us would have to convert to their religion. My fiance was raised Catholic but does not practice any long and I refuse to have a Catholic wedding. That is just WAY to much standing and sitting in one day for me. :p I wasn't raised in any church. My parents are very spiritual but never really believed in organized religion and what my mother calls "church lady politics".

The cheapest interfaith chapel that I found is the Heinz Chapel on Pitt's ***pus and they want $795 for one hour and fourty five minutes of their time so that I could be one of 7 weddings that day. I don't think so!

We decided that we would try the church on my former college's ***pus. It is a Catholic school but my fiance is Catholic and I graduated from there and know the priest very well. However, the Pittsburgh diocese does not permit marraige ceremonies on educational properties.

So I am in a bit of a pickle. My grandma says I can use her church but it is an hour away from the city. So I am lost. There just aren't a lot of places to have a non church wedding in this city!

[esp1087]

Because, neither my fiance nor I are members of any church. I literally called through the yellow pages. Almost every church withing a five mile radius requires us to be members for at least one full year before we would be allowed to book our wedding there. So I would really be gambling with the time frame. Not to mention that at least one of us would have to convert to their religion. My fiance was raised Catholic but does not practice any long and I refuse to have a Catholic wedding. That is just WAY to much standing and sitting in one day for me. :p I wasn't raised in any church. My parents are very spiritual but never really believed in organized religion and what my mother calls "church lady politics".

The cheapest interfaith chapel that I found is the Heinz Chapel on Pitt's ***pus and they want $795 for one hour and fourty five minutes of their time so that I could be one of 7 weddings that day. I don't think so!

We decided that we would try the church on my former college's ***pus. It is a Catholic school but my fiance is Catholic and I graduated from there and know the priest very well. However, the Pittsburgh diocese does not permit marraige ceremonies on educational properties.

So I am in a bit of a pickle. My grandma says I can use her church but it is an hour away from the city. So I am lost. There just aren't a lot of places to have a non church wedding in this city!

My friend got married at the same hall the reception site was at... It was a VERY beautiful wedding. In fact, it was the most beautiful wedding that I have ever been to... Have you chosen a reception site? Can you speak to them about holding the ceremony there?

Does a local friend have a backyard you could use instead of a church? There are great suggestions on other posts on how to get a close family member or friend qualified to legally marry you. That would be a great idea for you I think.

Have you and your FH discussed your religious beliefs? You may discover that you best fit a different religion or are more freespirited worshipers. I would think there would be a Christian church in the area, that wouldn't give you too many hassles about getting married. I know at my church you can get married without being a member, they just charge you a fee... If you are a member (which takes less than a month), you don't have to pay that fee...

From what you described though... I think a ceremony not in a church would be more suitable for you and your FH... Less headaches for you too!

Good luck and I hope that helped a little...
Elizabeth

[Lacey]

My friend got married at the same hall the reception site was at... It was a VERY beautiful wedding. In fact, it was the most beautiful wedding that I have ever been to... Have you chosen a reception site? Can you speak to them about holding the ceremony there?

Does a local friend have a backyard you could use instead of a church? There are great suggestions on other posts on how to get a close family member or friend qualified to legally marry you. That would be a great idea for you I think.

Have you and your FH discussed your religious beliefs? You may discover that you best fit a different religion or are more freespirited worshipers. I would think there would be a Christian church in the area, that wouldn't give you too many hassles about getting married. I know at my church you can get married without being a member, they just charge you a fee... If you are a member (which takes less than a month), you don't have to pay that fee...

From what you described though... I think a ceremony not in a church would be more suitable for you and your FH... Less headaches for you too!

Good luck and I hope that helped a little...
Elizabeth

Most churches here in the city require a year long membership before you can set the date. Which to me is ridiculous. I mean "Hello! I'm trying to no longer be living in sin, help me out here." Regardless, the club where we are having our reception does allow weddings to be held in their private dining room . Which I am sure is nice, but I can't shake the thought from my head that I would be getting married in a dining room and as soon as I leave peolpe will be coming in for the pork chop special or something. Aside from that it doesn't hold nearly enough people. Since our guest list is at near 300 right now I can't really ask a friend to use their yard. My mother and future mother in law insist on the fact that EVERYONE must be invited to both the receotion and the ceremony. I have so many battles coming up with them in the next 14 months that I am picking the ones I fight very carefully.

I like the idea of using my grandma's church. I'm sure we will pay through the nose for it but in that same church, my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother got married. And, my cousin is a minister in that faith so it will make it a little more personal. The tradition of it is what is going to matter most.

[esp1087]

Most churches here in the city require a year long membership before you can set the date. Which to me is ridiculous. I mean "Hello! I'm trying to no longer be living in sin, help me out here." Regardless, the club where we are having our reception does allow weddings to be held in their private dining room . Which I am sure is nice, but I can't shake the thought from my head that I would be getting married in a dining room and as soon as I leave peolpe will be coming in for the pork chop special or something. Aside from that it doesn't hold nearly enough people. Since our guest list is at near 300 right now I can't really ask a friend to use their yard. My mother and future mother in law insist on the fact that EVERYONE must be invited to both the receotion and the ceremony. I have so many battles coming up with them in the next 14 months that I am picking the ones I fight very carefully.

I like the idea of using my grandma's church. I'm sure we will pay through the nose for it but in that same church, my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother got married. And, my cousin is a minister in that faith so it will make it a little more personal. The tradition of it is what is going to matter most.
It was in a separate room from the reception but still at the same hall. It was gorgeous though...

Although you may invite everyone to the ceremony and reception, keep in mind that there will be some people that will only show up for the reception. I have seen that a lot especially at my cousin's wedding. About 10-20% more people will show up to the reception compared to the ceremony..

If you are interested in preserving the tradition, I think that is a beautiful idea. I wish my family had such a wonderful tradition, but maybe I'll be starting one! :)

[Lacey]

The church has offically been booked. My mother and grandmother are so happy. I am happy. My fiance really doesn't care as long as we have someplace that makes me happy. His parents are complaning up a storn because not only will they have to drive 45 minutes to and from but they will have to park their cars twice that day. (Actually they will have to park them 3 times since they will be parking when they go home. Maybe I'll bring that one up just to ruffle their feathers at Easter - I'm evil I know). I don't understand their argument that parking their car takes precident over me having the wedding that I want to have. And, I don't want to be herding people around a ballroom like cattle. I want them sitting in nice neat orderly church pews with a lovely pink flower swag on the ends. Sadly this means two (actually 3) times of car parking!

[nle5]

The church has offically been booked. My mother and grandmother are so happy. I am happy. My fiance really doesn't care as long as we have someplace that makes me happy. His parents are complaning up a storn because not only will they have to drive 45 minutes to and from but they will have to park their cars twice that day. (Actually they will have to park them 3 times since they will be parking when they go home. Maybe I'll bring that one up just to ruffle their feathers at Easter - I'm evil I know). I don't understand their argument that parking their car takes precident over me having the wedding that I want to have. And, I don't want to be herding people around a ballroom like cattle. I want them sitting in nice neat orderly church pews with a lovely pink flower swag on the ends. Sadly this means two (actually 3) times of car parking!

Well then maybe you should appoint one of the groomsmen to park his parents car. LOL I cannot believe his parents are throwing such a huge fuss over parking the car. They don't have to park the car that many times they can always get a motel room in the city you are planning the wedding. They will not have to go home that night and can enjoy the reception afterwards without worrying what time it is. Continue planning the wedding of your dreams since that is the most important thing. You and your FH should be happy on your wedding day!

[reecey]

The church has offically been booked. My mother and grandmother are so happy. I am happy. My fiance really doesn't care as long as we have someplace that makes me happy. His parents are complaning up a storn because not only will they have to drive 45 minutes to and from but they will have to park their cars twice that day. (Actually they will have to park them 3 times since they will be parking when they go home. Maybe I'll bring that one up just to ruffle their feathers at Easter - I'm evil I know). I don't understand their argument that parking their car takes precident over me having the wedding that I want to have. And, I don't want to be herding people around a ballroom like cattle. I want them sitting in nice neat orderly church pews with a lovely pink flower swag on the ends. Sadly this means two (actually 3) times of car parking!

Awe - tough rocks for them. Everyone has a complaint and you have to remember that your job is to plan your wedding and get married, not resolve or really even pay attention to people's petty issues. If they have that much of an issue with it then have reserved parking for them right up front just to get them to quit complaining about it.
Ya know, I would have brought up the 3rd parking at home thing too - but I'm like that. Maybe it would even show their absurdity. Or I'd tell them to rent a limo so they don't have to park at all :)

[Lacey]

Everything in the wedding plans had been going so well up until now.Help! I recently asked 4 people to be in my wedding party. Ever since I asked my friend from high school to take part in this amazing day I have had nothing but grief.

First, she doesn't like what I wrote about her on my webpage. She thinks it is demeaning. Under the wedding party section I put her name abd that she was a dear friend and my band ***p roommate. We were in marching band in high school togehter and for four years we looked forward to the two weeks in summer when we would be roomies during band ***p. (No American Pie jokes please.) She brings up how demeaning it is at least once a day. I have offered to change it. But then she goes into this woe is me thing and I shouldn't change it but she will never forget how it hurt her. I have put little quirkly things like that down about all of my bridesmaids. All the others laughed and thought it was funny.

She is a rather large girl so I found a dress that will be flattering to her. Now it is sleevless but she can wear a wrap and she does have until May 2006 to tone up her arms. Since then all she talks about is the burdens of having to get rid of weight. She calls several times a day to tell me that she is hungry and wants to eat something. At which point she asks me to talk her out of going ot the vending machine for sodas and candy. I don't have the time to be her personal warden. I work and have a life too. Then she goes into the list of what she had to eat today and how much excercising she has done. I am happy she is trying to be healthy. Her weight was a real health concern for her. But, I am trying to educate the youth of America I don't have the time to return phone calls and emails analyzing every carrot stick and pilates work out she has done today.

Then she is always making snide comments about marriage. She is divorced and has recently ended a very bad long term relationship. I'm sorry that she has had to go through it. It was rough on her. I was there for her every step of the way. But I don't feel that gives her the right to crticize my wedding. I'm sorry that she had a rushed a wedding and had a very strict budget so she couldn't have the things she always wanted. I'm sorry she didn't get a bridal shower. However, that doesn't mean she has to say things like "I got through without a bridal shower, what makes you think you need one? It is just begging for gifts." However, I refuse to apologize because my fiance and I are having a wonderful wedding that we have always wanted. Am I wrong for this?

The final straw was this evening when she called to talk about food. She said, "Maybe I'll just forget to show up at your wedding. That would really be funny." Umm no it wouldn't. I am an insane bride as it is. I'm incredibly organized. I go over everything in perfect detail. I don't need her saying things like this to upset me. I have enough to do without worrying about if she is going to skip out at the last minute.

My other 3 maids are amazing. They are there when I want to talk. They calm me down when I'm upset. And they all agree tht I am not driving them crazy with wedding details. So after all of that...it is the abridged Reader's Digest Version too...what do I do? I don't want to ruin our friendship but can I fire her?

[esp1087]

I wouldn't "fire" her, but I would have a serious chat with her. It sounds to me like she is jealous. I would say that you are sorry you hurt her by what you said on the website, and you will change it if she likes but she is hurting YOU by things she is doing too (then list some of the things you mentioned such as her snide comments).

Also, has she considered an organized diet such as Weight Watchers? No diet is easy the first week or two, but I have lost 30 pounds since November. I look and feel great, so maybe she should look into it. You can even do the program online. That way she will already have a support group and you won't have to be her support group.

If all else fails and she is still unsupportive, ask her if she would prefer to do a reading or be a personal attendent/honor attendant instead of a bridesmaid.

Good luck, and I hope that helps!