Help For Creating Your Own Wedding Vows

[Rev_Hansen]

As a minister, I'm often asked by the couples if it's ok to make "our own" vows. The simple answer this question is yes.. Most ministers will allow you write your own vows using a simple outline of what has to be in them for legal purposes. Below Is A General OUTLINE of what should be in the vows.

Welcome - given by the officiant
The Giving of the bride to the groom
The Address and scripture readings
The actual wedding vows themselves
The ring presentation and blessing
The exchange of rings and vows
The Lighting of the candles
Closing Prayer and blessing
Pronouncement
The First kiss together
and finally the Presentation of MR and MRS

There are several sites on line that have scripts that one can follow as you create your own set of personal vows. This Site has a section with in it as well that's well worth the effort in looking for. If you wish to make your own, check with your minister, or officiant as many will have several books that may offer some neat ideas of what to say and how. Your wedding site may also be of some service so don't be afraid to ask for help in this area.

[nle5]

As a minister, I'm often asked by the couples if it's ok to make "our own" vows. The simple answer this question is yes.. Most ministers will allow you write your own vows using a simple outline of what has to be in them for legal purposes. Below Is A General OUTLINE of what should be in the vows.

Welcome - given by the officiant
The Giving of the bride to the groom
The Address and scripture readings
The actual wedding vows themselves
The ring presentation and blessing
The exchange of rings and vows
The Lighting of the candles
Closing Prayer and blessing
Pronouncement
The First kiss together
and finally the Presentation of MR and MRS

There are several sites on line that have scripts that one can follow as you create your own set of personal vows. This Site has a section with in it as well that's well worth the effort in looking for. If you wish to make your own, check with your minister, or officiant as many will have several books that may offer some neat ideas of what to say and how. Your wedding site may also be of some service so don't be afraid to ask for help in this area.

I know one of the many questions that has come up on the forums is what type of music to have during the wedding and where are the appropriate places to have music. Can you just give us a brief ceremony run down of where it is appropriate to place music? I know you should have something while the guests are arriving and being seated, during the processional, when the bride enters, and then during the recessional. Other then those places I am kind of clueless. I thought it would be nice to have some music before the exchange of vows and before the unity candle lighting. What other areas do you recommend -- as a minister?

Also, what are some of the different songs you have heard people play for when the bride enters? I know some of us are trying to play something other than "Here Comes the Bride."

Thanks for you help.

[Rev_Hansen]

That's a good question, and hopefully I and others on this board can help answer it for you.

As a general rule of thumb where ever there's a major break can be filled in with a song of your choosing from rock to country and or christian. The thing to remember is IT'S YOUR WEDDING you are IN CHARGE, YOU ARE THE BOSS and what you say goes. If you are doing the church thing, I'd stay away from the heavey rock type music and try to stay in the "easy on ears approach that speak about love" I'll list some songs below for you as well.

An example of a major breaking point would be as follows:

the entrance music obviously..
The Opening Prayer / Blessing
Your 1st song to set the mood by
Support from the families, and the giving of the bride
Charge to the couples
Consent to God
Here's another major break, this is your love song time, as you prep for the candle lighting part.
I've also seen it done after the candles it's your choice
Next is the reading from scriptures
Other add-ins that are used are Wine, & first Communion together
Here you can play another love song that's a favorite to you both
This leads into the VOWS THEMSELVES
Followed by the promises and afformations
As the rings are being walked down the isle many play a song here as well.
The rings are exchanged, and blessed
Some may insert a song, especially if they are doing a ribbon ceremony here for handfastings. Giving them time to get set up.
Others have used this part to set up the release of birds, butterflies ect.
At the compleetion, comes the pronouncements
If you are going all out with braking of the glass or jumping over the broom
this would be a good place also for a short song.
After which the minister would introduce Mr and Mrs to the crowd
followed by your final song as you leave.

As you see by this outline, this can eat up valuable time - time that you and your other half to be will be standing through. The draw back to this is becoming even more nervous than you already are as the songs drag on.

Most couples will run thru the vows once with the family at home first as if it were the real deal. When you do it, use all the music in all the spots you feel you want them. Then run through them once with out in an attempt to crop the ceremony in places. Make notes of what works, and what drags.

My suggestion is to try it on for size, if it fits and works go for it. If you are allowing kids to be at the wedding, just remember little people get board quickly... and will get restless even faster. So plan accordingly.

As for song titles, there's way to many to even begin to list here but a few of my favorites are the following:
I'll be here - steven curtis chapman

Another option you may want to do is search the net for wedding songs I'd recommend altavista's eng. so you can use the mp3 option there. I found one page after doing the above which listed a bunch of really great ones.

For the wedding itself:
http://www.mr-music.com/Wed_music.html
For the First Dance:
http://www.mr-music.com/FIRST.HTM
Please note that most of these are in Real Audio format so you will need that program in order to play them.