Too many bridesmaids?

[smontbri]

I think I am going to have 10 bridesmaids and I am worried that this is way too many. Plus 10 groomsmen????? This is insane right? I know it's going to be difficult for everyone to get fitted for a dress, get their hair done, etc., plus it's going to be more expensive for me to buy flowers and bridal party gifts. I have been thinking about how I am going to do this for 3 months and I cannot think of anything. Five of the girls, I have been friends with since grade school and I still keep in touch with all of them, even after going to different colleges and moving away for jobs all over the country. One is my fiances sister, one is a new friend who lives next door, who I spend time with everyday and the other three are old college roommates who I love more than anything in the world like sisters and still talk to almost on a daily basis. I know everyone says to have someone do a guest book or a reading, etc., but I just don't feel like any of these responsibilities are appropriate for my closest friends. Plus I wouldn't want to be the person for the guest book or reader for one of their weddings. Another think I forgot to mention is out of the nine friends, I have been in six of their weddings-the other three are not married yet. My fiance ideally wants to have six groomsmen so I thought just about having my ten and his six which would be a total of sixteen which is better than twenty. However, he doesn't like this idea. I thought it might be neat to have each guy walk two girls, but again he hates the idea and thinks we should have equal numbers. He can come up with ten, but they are not friends he would have chose if I didn't have TEN! Should I just have the ten and suck up the expense or should I just have all old friends and not include my college roommates. My biggest problem is if I have one I have to have the other. I'm almost to the point of having no one, but I have already asked five....oopps. Plus i really want a big wedding party, just not 10!

Please help me!!!

[nle5]

Wow, I must say that you have yourself in quite a predi***ent. How many people are being invited to your wedding? Ideally you want one groomsman or usher for each 50 guests plus the best man. So one thing I will suggest, depending on your guest list, is to have 5 groomsmen and then 5 ushers which will equal out to your ten bridesmaids. The ushers can then escort your bridesmaids to the reception. While the sides do not have to be even, I would recommend it because it does look nicer. But you can do whatever you would like.

If you have to narrow down your bridesmaids I would suggest to go with your closest and deepest friends. Which one will be your Maid/Matron of Honor? What type of time frame are you wanting for all of the bridesmaids, ring bearer, and flower girl to walk down the aisle before you do? Does it matter to you if the processional takes a while before you finally make your grand entrance? One way to do the processional is to have the guys at the front with the groom and then pair up the bridesmaids. But I would suggest letting the Maid/Matron of Honor walk by herself.

As far as the bridal party gifts you can always make them all something nice which will cut the expense of having to buy them all a gift. Many bridesmaids will prefer something made by the bride because it has more meaning.

I sure hope this helps out. I think you really need to ask yourself some of the questions above to decide how many bridesmaids you really want.

[smontbri]

Thank you for the reply. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I honestly feel equally close to all ten of my friends. Even my fiance and my mom agree that it is a very difficult decision and they can't suggest who I can cut out. In some ways besides my Matron of Honor, I though it might be best not to include my college roommates and just include old time friends. However, in some ways I feel closer to the girls I lived with for four years.

I did decide on a Matron of Honor who is one of the college roommates who I still talk to two times a day even though we live in different states. I plan on having about 250 guests, which I realize is definitely not that big for our big wedding party. As for the processional, I agree, I do not want it to take too long and plan to have the guys up front and the girls walk in pairs. That is a good idea to at least have my Matron walk by herself. I also love your idea about making presents. I guess all of the wedding I have been in, the bride has spent a fortune buying jewelry, gift boxes, etc. so I was thinking I had to do the same.

Thanks again for your ideas.





Wow, I must say that you have yourself in quite a predi***ent. How many people are being invited to your wedding? Ideally you want one groomsman or usher for each 50 guests plus the best man. So one thing I will suggest, depending on your guest list, is to have 5 groomsmen and then 5 ushers which will equal out to your ten bridesmaids. The ushers can then escort your bridesmaids to the reception. While the sides do not have to be even, I would recommend it because it does look nicer. But you can do whatever you would like.

If you have to narrow down your bridesmaids I would suggest to go with your closest and deepest friends. Which one will be your Maid/Matron of Honor? What type of time frame are you wanting for all of the bridesmaids, ring bearer, and flower girl to walk down the aisle before you do? Does it matter to you if the processional takes a while before you finally make your grand entrance? One way to do the processional is to have the guys at the front with the groom and then pair up the bridesmaids. But I would suggest letting the Maid/Matron of Honor walk by herself.

As far as the bridal party gifts you can always make them all something nice which will cut the expense of having to buy them all a gift. Many bridesmaids will prefer something made by the bride because it has more meaning.

I sure hope this helps out. I think you really need to ask yourself some of the questions above to decide how many bridesmaids you really want.

[Heather6913]

I have 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Then plus the best man and maid of honor. I would always ask "is this what you're supposed to do?" when it ***e to stuff for my wedding. I always got told "its your wedding you can do what you want" so therefore i say go for it! it doesn't matter if its traditional or not, if thats how many bridesmaids you want and you're comfortable with it, then that's all that matters

[nle5]

I have 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Then plus the best man and maid of honor. I would always ask "is this what you're supposed to do?" when it ***e to stuff for my wedding. I always got told "its your wedding you can do what you want" so therefore i say go for it! it doesn't matter if its traditional or not, if thats how many bridesmaids you want and you're comfortable with it, then that's all that matters

I totally agree with you Heather. I also am having 2 bridesmaids, 2 jr. bridesmaids -- my oldest daughter and her best friend -- plus a maid of honor and 2 groomsmen, 2 jr. groomsmen plus a best man. We are having about 200 guests so this number will be ok. I am also including 2 flowergirls -- my youngest daughter and her best friend.

One of my bridesmaids is my best friend that is the mother of my daughters best friends also included in the wedding. Her daughter's are going to be a jr. bridesmaid with my oldest and a flowergirl with my youngest. We are all really close and I felt really bad including my best friend and my daughters but not having her daughters in the wedding. So because we are all really close and are like a big family I made spots to include her daughters as well. All of the girls were happy when I told them they all would get to be in the wedding if they wanted to. I know having two flowergirls may not be traditional but I really want to be happy and my fiancee is ok with it so that is what we will have.

[bjmy1975]

Ok... you can have as many as you want.. I'd probably have the same as you, but I created a few other positions to put them in. We have MOH, 2 Bm, 2 JRBM, Fg, 2 'hostesses', BestMan, 2GM, 1 JRGM, RB, and 2 ushers for a whopping total of 17 for the bridal party.... plus 2 readers that I would have had as Bm's if we had enough guys!! You can never have too many friends and loved ones!!! :)

[LeAnne]

It's yours and your fiance's wedding, I say that as long as he is okay with it all, you should definitely have as many as you want. If the two of you decide it's too much to handle then perhaps you could find a creative way to choose without hurting anyone's feelings. Perhaps you could explain your problem to them all, create enough positions for everyone doing different things and let them pick numbers to see who does what. That way you did not choose one over the other. If they're an understanding bunch then feelings most likely wouldn't be hurt.

My mom nearly freaked when I told her I'd be having 5 (including MOH). I wondered if that was too many but everyone I've asked has told me the same thing: unless it's going to create major problems somewhere, have who you want to have. The one thing you definitely don't want to do is drop anyone you've already asked.

Good luck!!

[Stephie]

I too am looking like I am going to have a huge bridal party. I have a ton of close friends and family members and there isn't a way to pick and choose who would and wouldn't stand up. I say it's up to you, if you feel you can't cut anyone then don't have ten on each side. If they are your closest family and friends, then they will realize the anxiety of having a large bridal party. As far as gifts go, you don't have to go all out on these gifts in my opinion...they are gifts from the heart to thank people for being a part of your wedding. You don't have to spend large amounts of money on them as long as you feel they represent a thank you to them.

[fborj2ecaa]

So I am in a real predi***ent with too many bridesmaides.....well is 9 too many? I know that seems like a lot but I have 2 sisters, 1 future sister in law, 3 best friends that I have known practically from infancy, 2 best friends from college, and 1 best friend from the military. I really can't dodge or knock any of them by not having them as bridesmaides. They would be terribly defended. And I am really getting sick of people telling me that is way too many even though I know it is more than normal these days. My fiance said I can do whatever I want but then he is always making jokes about it. We are having a simple October wedding with approximately 350 guests. I told my fiance he could have half as many groomsmen and then each walk down the aisle with 2 bridesmaides. Or have as many but have 2 also be ushers.....oh what to do what to do. I am really just about to go to the courthouse because of all this craziness even though I really want a nice wedding. The horrible thing is I have talked to all of my friends before about being bridesmaides before we set a date or started planning anything so I really can't go back on my word. It isn't worth hurting anybody's feelings. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!

[brpoeedcc]

10 bridesmaids is quite a lot but it is doable. I saw a wedding with 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen and it worked. It is whatever you want but be cautioned this many people in a briidal party is bound to produce more stress on you than a few bridesmaids. You are not insane and you must have a bunch of people who care about you so do what you want and good luck.

[theresa.nortonfebb]

I think it's "the more the merrier". My sister had a huge wedding party, we all enjoyed it, laughed, talked, danced, etc. When i am looking though her album now, i can't help smiling again, the photographer a good job too, gotta give him a credit too, very dynamic.

We will definitely have at least 15 people in our wedding party, it's fun!
Thank you,
Theresa,

[CandyBear]

I think you have to think about the nature of the wedding. If you are having an eloquent wedding with lots of guests than a large bridal party suites that type of party. I see a large wedding party as excessive and one must consider the cost too.

However, I think that since your fiance does not want a huge wedding party (6 groomsmen) it is selfish to not come to a compromise. If he has to come up with 10 men and 4 of the men are not even close to him then it seems like he is being put out by this situation more than you. He has feeling and he might also be concerned about the financial aspect of having such a big wedding party.

[kkasper78ccbe]

What about having the groomsmen standing at the altar already, and then just having the bridesmaids walk down seperately. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where there was an unequal wedding party and this is what we did.

As far as the exit, have them match up, and then have the last pair of 2 girls walk down together, or like you said 2 guys exiting with 2 girls. I really do not believe in following all the old traditions. I think it this makes your wedding photos unique and different. Besides, you exit first with your husband....and that's where all the attention is anyway.

[LadyLibra80]

You know..i'm in the same kind of situation, only my bridal party includes 8 bridesmaids plus a flower girl. I have no intention of leaving my closest friends out of my wedding just bc its too many. However, if its a question of $...either find less expensive gifts, or make the gifts yourself. You don't want to go into debt to buy gifts for your BP. This is your wedding! You don't want to look back and say, "i should have..."
Congratulations!
LadyLibra80

[Boston]

We're have 7 each, 3 flower girls, a ring bearer, 4 ushers, head usher. Total = 23

Bottom line: do what will make you the most happy.

[November08]

I googled to find out answers to this exact question. I'm a 2nd time bride and no spring chicken. I have 5 girlfriends I would like to have and a mentally challenged sister who would be over the moon if she could be a bridesmaid. So 6 for me and then 6 for my fiance? We will have 150-175 guests. I just wonder if it's too much? I wouldn't have a head table, but have a hard time choosing. I could drop my number to 3 plus my sister I think. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. One thing I did think of doing was to have my best girlfriends sit at one table and decorate their chairs special with chair covers (which I'm not using at other tables) and put a little floral wreath or decoration on the back of their chairs and maybe name their table something to let everyone know they mean the world to me.

[November08]

I googled to find out answers to this exact question. I'm a 2nd time bride and no spring chicken. I have 5 girlfriends I would like to have and a mentally challenged sister who would be over the moon if she could be a bridesmaid. So 6 for me and then 6 for my fiance? We will have 150-175 guests. I just wonder if it's too much? I wouldn't have a head table, but have a hard time choosing. I could drop my number to 3 plus my sister I think. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. One thing I did think of doing was to have my best girlfriends sit at one table and decorate their chairs special with chair covers (which I'm not using at other tables) and put a little floral wreath or decoration on the back of their chairs and maybe name their table something to let everyone know they mean the world to me.

[sammysangel04]

I am having 200 or more guests. And I have 5 Bridesmaids, 5 Groomsmen, 2 Junior Bridesmaids, 1 Junior Groomsmen, 1 Flower Girl and 1 Ring Bearer.
There is no right number, It is what ever you want. The only suggestion i have is to make sure that all of your ladies can afford to buy everything needed for the wedding. That is what determined My wedding party. Good luck to you, and Congratulation's!

[weddingideasguide]

November08 - There is nothing wrong with what you are proposing, even if it is your second wedding!

As already stated, the bottom line is to do what makes you happy. If you have a large family or a lot of really close friends, you can absolutely have them in your wedding.

Something to consider is that as your wedding party grows so does the amount of people that have to be managed during planning your wedding and on your wedding day.

We would consider anything over 8 bridesmaids/groomsmen to be a little too big. Just organizing a lot of people to walk down the aisle can be a challenge sometimes, so you may want to seek the help of a wedding planner to help sort out all of the details.

[visser]

I say don't leave any of your closest friends out. I'm sure you guys have been through soooo much and they would be hurt if they weren't a part of it. Yes, it might be costly, but it will be worth it

[joeaabd]

From a photographers standpoint... less is better / easier (which will result in better images) ... depending on the look you are going for.