sister in law

[Angel]

my soon to be sister in law is five years older then i am, lives 18 hours away, we are not close, and she knows none of my friends I really don't want to ask her to be a bridesmaid when she got married a year ago she only asked me to be her personal attendant. my future hubby says not to ask her. Is this ok?
Angel
NE

[cracin]

I would not ask her to be in the wedding but, to be a personal attendant.

[p_h_c]

If you're not close to her don't ask her to be in the wedding at all. Just invite her as a guest. She can sit in the family pew with all the other family members. Your bridal party should be those you are close to only! It's important to remember that unless you're really wealthy and can afford a party of 10+ you really are limited to the amount of close friends you have in your wedding party anyway. Those people should be one's that you really are close to and feel are truly special to you. If you feel you must have her in the wedding let her be your guest book attendant or do a reading or something else. There are always alternative ways of having her be a part of the day without hurting her feelings.

[magic]

I agree. I would ask her to be a personal attendant and/or to participate in the ceremony by doing a reading or something.

[mbox17]

I was in sort of the same situation. My soon to be sister in law and I are kind of close but we only really talk when she calls my fiance or visa-vera. Well she got married two years ago and didn't ask me to do anything, but now my mom is asking me if I should include her in the wedding. I agree with the other girls...I think maybe you should ask her to read at the wedding or be the guest book attendant..something fairly easy. Good luck..

[Dandalion]

Hey!
Don't ever ask someone to be an attendant if you feel pressured. Your attendants are there to support you on your big day. Stick to those people who know you very well and you can trust 100%.
Good Luck!
Amanda

[FinallyPlanning]

i'd said don't ask, especially if your fi has said not to. You're not obligated

[MEREDITHWEDDING@HOTMAIL.COM]

My soon to be sis in law lives in Florida and I am in Baltimore. We have only met a few times. I still asked her because of 2 reasons:
1. She is the sister of my fiance
2. It might bring us closer

In the long run, don't create conflict. Ask her and hopefully you will grow a bigger bond with eachother. It's not worth it to have her resent you in the years to come.

[swelch]

Perhaps she can play a lesser role. Wait tables, be the DJ.

[mustangbex]

Perhaps she can play a lesser role. Wait tables, be the DJ.

I'm under the "attack of the growing wedding party". My sister and I are pretty close, I am also REALLY CLOSE (roommates) with my future SIL and we're like family-all three of us. I plan to have them both act as maid of honor so there is less work for them and they both feel special, but I have two cousins and four really good friends... My cousins will have to fly in from out-of-town (3,000 miles) but I sincerely want them to be part of the party. One of my friends is so amazing, even though we hadn't really seen each other in two years, it was like nothing had changed and she is so ready to give up things for me and be there I would be HONORED if she'd be a bridesmaid. That gives me FIVE people. The remaining three friends and I have a tradition of going out every saturday and my life would be empty without them but I can't have 8 people. I want to give them things in the reception to do that will let them feel very honored and know they're appreciated without giving them "menial" jobs and making them feel taken advantage of. I was thinking of having them around when we all get ready and giving them ***eras to take candids and such... I also don't really want a stranger officiating my ceremony, I was wondering if it would be appropriate for my fiance' and I to ask one of these ladies to become a minister over the net (don't laugh) as a gift to us and officiate our ceremony? :confused:

[Lilly]

It's perfectly fine not to ask your sister-in-law to be in your wedding. IF the two of you aren't close and she feels this way to, it's most likely a relief that she doesn't have to come back peridically to do the bridesmaid things - it seems like it's better that way for everyone involved.

visit marasevents.com

my soon to be sister in law is five years older then i am, lives 18 hours away, we are not close, and she knows none of my friends I really don't want to ask her to be a bridesmaid when she got married a year ago she only asked me to be her personal attendant. my future hubby says not to ask her. Is this ok?
Angel
NE