Cheap mother in law

[lori]

My fiance and I no longer live in our home state. Nor do my parents. We want to have the wedding shower in our home town though, which means we will have to rely on my fiance's mother for a lot of help.
But she is CHEAP! We are not snobs, and don't make a lot of money, but we do want something that's not a patch-work shower. She has (firmly) stated that she will go buy everything at the $1 closeout store. (and she has no qualms against guests eating off of 5 different types of cheap paper plates from christmas to halloween ones). She also wants to go buy all of the food there, which is all outdated and stale. What can I give her to do that she can't mess up? And how can I gently break it to her that i don't want stuff from the closeout bins. (ps, we are not asking them to pay a dime towards this)

[E]

If you have a maid/matron of honor or other members of your wedding party living near you, you may want to ask them to host the shower. If you are providing the funds for the shower, this makes it even easier. If your future mother-in-law is truly the only person close enough to throw your shower, sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her (or have your fiance do it) and let her know how important it is to you that things be according to your childhood fantasies... even if this isn't true, it can help in convincing difficult people to change their ideas. You only get married once and you want it to be special and not from the bargain bin. Ideally you could find some specific items you wish to have and give her the information, or buy them yourself and give them to her.

[Dandalion]

Hey,
Usually a friend of your fiance's parents will throw the shower. You may let your mother-in-law-to-be that it isn't her responsibility to throw the shower, and maybe she won't! Hopefully someone with better taste will step in and you will be OK. Keep in mind that you aren't in charge of the shower and everyone knows that. Anything cheap will reflect her and not you and your fiance. I hope everything works out!

[mbox17]

Lori,

Since you are paying I think that she shouldn't have a say in anything...it is after all your shower! Find some friends that still live in your home town and see if they will help you out! If you are still pretty close with them then they should know what you like and dislike...give it some thought...good luck!

[sueellen]

Since it sounds like she is very stingy with money, maybe it would deter her if you told her that you absolutely refuse to pay her back for anything she buys at the dollar store. I hope this all turns out okay for you.

[swelch]

What third world country do you people live in??