Exclusion mishap!!

[Bride2Be06]

When picking my bridal party, I was in charge of my side, as was my fiance of his side. Rightfully so, all I asked of him was that he included my brother on his side, because my brother adores him. He picked his and I picked mine and everything was fine.

I picked a good friend of mine and my cousin to kind of share Maid of Honor positions because my good friend recently moved to IL (I live in MI) and she can't help out much, but we're still very much close and almost like sisters. So I figured that the only other person that could share that position with her would be my cousin whom I am also very close with, and always have been since we were both young. Then I also picked 2 of my fiance's aunts (that he and I are both very close to) and one of their daughters.

Well, my fiance has three aunts and the third one we are just NOT close to AT ALL. We definately clash (her and I) and so does her and her husband with my fiance. So he didn't pick him for his side, and I didn't pick her for my side, but we definately intended on including them somewhere in the ceremony, just not in the actual bridal party. Now the familys all in an uproar because we didn't have him and her in the party. Should I include them in the party to keep the peace? Or can I just have them do something equally vital to our ceremony, and end it at that? If I did do that, would it be bridezilla of me?

Trying to keep the family from feuding!! HELP ME!!!!

[Fedup]

In regard to your mishap, I am always hearing problems brides are running into whith their families when planning their weddings. The one thing that I have told my friends when planning their wedding is, remember, this is YOUR and YOUR fiance's wedding. Not theirs. You choose who you want and who you don't want. It is suppose to be an enjoy occasion, and by the family giving you two a difficult time about something so small is rediculous. I know this must be frustrating, but don't let anyone bully you into having some one in your wedding party that you don't want. To keep peace, maybe you can find something for them to do that is important as well. Remember, this is your day. This is the day you will remember for a life time. Don't let them stress you out more than you already will be. They will get over it. They are not thinking of you, they are thinking of themselves. I ran into a similar problem when I was getting married, and I made the decision for me, not for them. They got over it. I told myself, why would I want someone in the party that will end up irritating me more because we are doing it MY way and not theirs. It is MY wedding not theirs. Good Luck...I wish you well. :o

[SOM Z28]

Maybe you can ask them to be in charge of something like the guest book? Or in charge of handing out bubbles, rice, or whatever you may use for your exit from the wedding.

[Bride2Be06]

Hey thanks for the replies. Makes me feel better about my decision. I decided to let her do a reading and her husband is going to usher. My fiance and I are going to let everyone in the family know this weekend, so wish me luck that it goes well!!! =)

[nle5]

I think you made a wise decision with letting them do a reading and be an usher for the wedding. This will hopefully solve all of your problems with the family feuding. If they are not happy with that then let them know it's your wedding and you already picked your bridal party. I really don't understand why family and close friends always have to feud over things such as a wedding, holiday, or any special occasion for that matter. I know of a lot of people that only include their siblings and one or two close friends in their bridal party so you are not too far from the norm at choosing your bridal party. If I had to have all of my aunts and that in my bridal party we would never get to the bride walking down the aisle for almost 1/2 an hour.

Good luck!!

[Bride2Be06]

Well the aunt that I was having and issue with before, has now told me how hurt she is that my FH and I didn't ask her to be in the wedding party. She says to me "I'm honored to do a reading but....." So I'm thinking that I'm just going to tell her that I've found someone else to do it, since she isn't truely honored? Is that mean? I'm just kinda afraid to let someone who isn't truely honored get up in front of both of our families and talk about us.

[SOM Z28]

If she declines, then there is no reason you shouldn't ask someone else to take her place. If she just sounded ungrateful or miffed at being given what she sees as a 'lesser' responsibility, maybe she will come around. Talk with her about what she will read and feel her out. If she still acts badly, you can just come right out and aske her if she doesn't want to do it. Explain to her how you feel and maybe she'll come around.