I Need Advice - Please

[ktsm4905]

I have a Matron of Honor that is making me dread my wedding day!!

She was more than happy to help me when I asked her, she has since gotten pregnant, and is now making my life a living hell

I have always been carefree about everything, I chose the color scheme, and told my girls they could get any dress they wanted. I have told them they can wear whatever kind of shoes they want except for isatoner slippers and flip flops.

She has made it a point to tell me everytime I talk about my wedding how fat she will be because she will 7 or 8 months pregnant. The dress the other girls have picked out is form fitting, so she had to get a different one, but she didn't really want to because she is going to stand out already. She can't wear heals because her feet will be swolen, but that is fine because I am having an outside wedding and I don't expect them to wear high heals on the grass.

The latest thing that I am upset over is that I have another friend that I asked to be the Maid of Honor. No one knows her because I met her at college, and has no reason to come to my home town. The Matron didn't want to talk to the Maid over the phone because 'She didn't like talking to strangers over the phone' so the Maid mailed letters to all of the girls asking for ideas on what to do for the bachellorette party. The Matron said that the Maid should have called because that was better then sending letters. Plus she asked why the rush on planning the party, we had 3 months. She also said that if the Maid can't plan anything in 3 months then maybe someone else should plan the b-party.

Please Someone tell me how I need to handle this.
Sarah

[nle5]

WOW!! That is really sad that your Matron of Honor is acting out. I think that you need to have a talk with her to let her know that it is your wedding that you guys are planning and want to have everything just right. Let her know that if she cannot handle the stress of being pregnant and helping plan the wedding then you will not have her be the Matron of Honor. Remind your Matron of Honor about your Maid of Honor calling about different aspects of the wedding and different parties but she refused to talk to her because "she was a stranger."

They do have dresses that look really nice on pregnant women and that is what you will have to do if you keep this gal as your MOH. There will be other shoes that she can wear that are not high heals but are dress shoes.

I hope this helps some.

[Kelly1Mickey]

It sounds like your Matron really needs to loosen up a bit. My matron of honor was already in one wedding pregnant and handled it ok. She was about 8 months along and still looked stunning (although she didn't think so). I know when a women is pregnant she doesn't feel attractive...but since you are letting her choose her dress, you've already done all you can do to make her feel comfortable. My Matron and I have joked that if she is pregnant for my wedding, we'll just call the new baby a flowergirl or ringbearer. :) (Her other 2 little girls are already in the wedding) I would just give her the opportunity to bow out if she wants to. Trust me when I say you want people you have complete faith in. I had a girlfriend whose bridesmaid quit the day before the wedding simply because the bride was making it all about her! (Don't we all!)
As far as her having a problem with your maid...tell her you think the maid can handle planning things fine and the fact that she isn't procrastinating is reassuring to you. Good Luck!