Confused bride to be

[dooda05]

Hello all. I am having some trouble with deciding how my mom should dress at my wedding. Some consultants I have spoken with say she is not to wear the colors of the wedding party but she is to blend. Others say she is to wear whatever color I am wearing which happens to be ivory. I don't know which is correct. Help.

[koolade]

my opinion-as long as the color(s) go together, even if it is the same as the bridal party, she can wear what she wants. thats what my mom, stepmom, and future MIL are doing!!!!

[nle5]

I believe that your mother is to wear something that will blend with the wedding colors but not have any of the colors on. However, I think that you can have it the way that YOU want because it is your wedding. Do what feels right to you and your mother.

[Kelly1Mickey]

I agree with the other ladies...do whatever you and your mom feel ok with. I have found myself getting caught up with decisions like this. Whenever I am having trouble with a detail with my wedding, I just try to look at the big picture. You start seeing pretty quickly that somethings are just not as huge as they seem.

[www.asyouwishwed.com]

It is the custom in some cultures to see the mothers in the wedding color but a different style dress than the bridesmaids. This makes for a nice photo if nothing else.

[MOH]

The others are right... do what YOU want. It is YOUR day so don't let others stress you with restrictions.

My mom and MIL both wore complimenting colors to the maids. My Maids wore plum and Mom wore lavender & my MIL wore a sage. However, I told them to pick colors they looked good in. That was the only restriction. They photographed well and moreover all were comfortable in what they wore.

[bjmy1975]

I think that she can wear whatever she wants as long as it doesn't clash. Our colors are lavander and yellow with a little silver. My mother is going to wear a seafoam color.... unless she changes her mind again!!! I swear I found my dress in 1 try.... she's up to three dresses now. And the FMIL wants to wear a dark purple. I don't care as long as they don't clash!

My MOh told me that her aunt and mother said that the MOB chooses the color of her dress and the MOG shows up, shuts up, and wears beige! :D

[nle5]

Well, I would never tell either of the mothers to sit down, shut up and wear beige. :D However, I am going to be going with my mother to pick out her dress and then will also try to help my FMIL find something that she likes. I really don't care what the two of them wear as long as they look good. I asked my FFIL if he is going to be wearing a tux and he just laughed at me. My future in laws are helping out with a lot of the planning of the wedding because I see them more than I do my own parents. My parents really don't care that they are helping out so much because they know that I am paying the majority of the wedding. Heck, maybe I should tell my mother and my FMIL to go shopping for their dresses together. LOL LOL LOL

[reecey]

I'm going to be picking out my mother's and FMIL's clothing. I'm kindof picky in this area and it will be done as a gift to them. I know neither of them can afford to be buying any kind of formal wear, and I don't want them to feel out of place. I want to get them something they can wear at another special occassion. I also want the colors to go well. My colors are navy blue and yellow with silver as an accent. So if I tell them that, they'll show up in a god-aweful blue or the wrong shade of yellow :p My stepmom asked me what she should wear - I told her I didn't care as long as it wasn't pink or black (I'm not a good pink person) and I asked that if she were going to wear something that was in the wedding colors to please come get a swatch to match/blend with the colors - she was great with that. She has much better ability to choose formal wear.

[nle5]

Reecey,
My colors are Navy blue, silver, with ivory accents to match my dress. It seems we can help each other out with some of the colors. LOL My mother has been looking at dresses and she found a really cute gray dress that she thought she would like .... but didn't try it on. The dress was at the bridal salon that I am getting my dress from so it is formal and would look good on her. Plus, mom is getting gray hair so it would match her hair since I can't convince her to dye it. She tells me that all of those gray hairs she has earned. LOL LOL :D

[reecey]

Reecey,
My colors are Navy blue, silver, with ivory accents to match my dress. It seems we can help each other out with some of the colors. LOL My mother has been looking at dresses and she found a really cute gray dress that she thought she would like .... but didn't try it on. The dress was at the bridal salon that I am getting my dress from so it is formal and would look good on her. Plus, mom is getting gray hair so it would match her hair since I can't convince her to dye it. She tells me that all of those gray hairs she has earned. LOL LOL :D


Haha :) that's too funny - I wish I could get my mother to 1. Believe that her hair is gray and not "platinum" and to quit dying it so blonde it looks like she dunked her head in a vat of clorox! :p

I'm thinking a nice pant-suit for my mother and for my FMIL - similar but not quite the same. I don't want the whole twin thing going on. My mother and I are so very different - a big part of it is that she didn't raise me, my father did - so our differences are very very profound.

I thought about having them both wear yellow - since the bridesmaids will be wearing navy and carrying yellow flowers. Then I would have them wear the yellow and give them navy corsages. I'm going to have to see what I can find first :)

[nle5]

reecey,
I think that your plan would be lovely. But consider what both of them would look like in yellow. Some people just don't look good in certain colors. Maybe you can go with a white or ivory pant suit with a yellow blouse underneath the jacket. Then of course put the coursage on the jacket to the pant suit.

[reecey]

reecey,
I think that your plan would be lovely. But consider what both of them would look like in yellow. Some people just don't look good in certain colors. Maybe you can go with a white or ivory pant suit with a yellow blouse underneath the jacket. Then of course put the coursage on the jacket to the pant suit.


They both wear yellow very well actually, which is why I'm considering it - I found a couple of great pantsuits in both yellow and a slate gray. I think the yellow looks better - I certainly don't want them wearing white - that's what I'm wearing :)

[abby]

[ : :mad:
Wow, I have a hard time accepting the idea that YOU can not figure out what your mom should wear to your wedding. Hello - leave your mother make up her own mind.

[SOM Z28]

I actually haven't even considered what mom might wear. I know she's looked at a few dresses, but I didn't pay much attention to the colors. I think she'll pick something nice though. She has a good sense of style and knows what will look good.

[reecey]

[ : :mad:
Wow, I have a hard time accepting the idea that YOU can not figure out what your mom should wear to your wedding. Hello - leave your mother make up her own mind.


Apparently, you don't know my mother, heh. If I leave my mother alone, she's going to show up in ratty clothes and be embarrassed.
Its important to know the situation before you speak on it.

[Bridezilla!]

Initially, I thought it best to let the mothers decide what they want to wear on their own 1) because I have enough to deal with in terms of my own dress & helping the bridesmaids with their dresses and 2) all the mothers are very particular dressers & to put my two cents in there would probably cause a fight (& I have enough battles going on as it is). Most importantly, however, none of them have asked for my opinion so I assume they don't want it. The other day, my future mother in law showed me her dress - a long, bright lavendar sequend GOWN which totally clashes with our colors of silver and light & dark blues. In fact, I specifically instructed the florist to make sure there were no purple flowers in sight! Just blue. I have no doubt my mom will feel intimidated, as she doesn't wear gowns and will feel underdressed compared to the groom's mother (who frequently needs to be the center of attention). Well, I think when the photos are developed, the groom's mother certainly will be the center of attention! LOL. All in all, it's good to think ahead and decide whether or not to say something to the mothers so no one feels "out-done" by the other or embarrassed. Still, think about choosing your battles. Even though I'm not overjoyed about my mother-in-law's choice and I'm sure my mom will feel awkward, I know I still wouldn't have done things any differently. The future mother in law is a difficult woman to deal with as it is, and advising her on what to wear would not have gone over well. Good luck!

[reecey]

Initially, I thought it best to let the mothers decide what they want to wear on their own 1) because I have enough to deal with in terms of my own dress & helping the bridesmaids with their dresses and 2) all the mothers are very particular dressers & to put my two cents in there would probably cause a fight (& I have enough battles going on as it is). Most importantly, however, none of them have asked for my opinion so I assume they don't want it. The other day, my future mother in law showed me her dress - a long, bright lavendar sequend GOWN which totally clashes with our colors of silver and light & dark blues. In fact, I specifically instructed the florist to make sure there were no purple flowers in sight! Just blue. I have no doubt my mom will feel intimidated, as she doesn't wear gowns and will feel underdressed compared to the groom's mother (who frequently needs to be the center of attention). Well, I think when the photos are developed, the groom's mother certainly will be the center of attention! LOL. All in all, it's good to think ahead and decide whether or not to say something to the mothers so no one feels "out-done" by the other or embarrassed. Still, think about choosing your battles. Even though I'm not overjoyed about my mother-in-law's choice and I'm sure my mom will feel awkward, I know I still wouldn't have done things any differently. The future mother in law is a difficult woman to deal with as it is, and advising her on what to wear would not have gone over well. Good luck!

Well, if you need to, you can quote ettiquete - the mother of the bride chooses her attire first, informs the mother of the groom and then the mother of the groom's attire compliments the mother of the bride's :)
Dunno if this will help but its a suggestion! They're also supposed to wear colors that blend with the wedding colors - maybe somehow you can get her to find out about this?

[SOM Z28]

Yeah, I'd try to let her figure it out with a few well placed hints. If you've got any bridal magazines with an article on how the mothers should dress, you could leave the mag open to that page when she's around. Or find an online article and email it to all of the mothers with a friendly 'thought you might be interested in this' type note. Then if she mentions to you that she's already picked her dress, you could just say you forgot. Or tell her you didn't realize the dress she showed you was for the wedding, but for something completely different instead. Or just let her overhear you talking with someone about how the mothers' attire should blend. Just don't let her overhear you badmouth her choice. Then you've got another ****ed off mother to deal with.

Good luck!