No Brides Maids or Shower

[Bruins]

Does a Bride have to have Brides Maids and a shower?

[purpleaa]

Nope. You will need an adult to sign your marriage certificate as a witness, though.

[bjmy1975]

Other than the need for a witness of age... I think you can have whatever you want.

And the shower is usually given by the maid of honor, bridal party, or families. Generally, that's not up to the bride to decide. But if the bride wanted to tell someone whether or not they would like one, I don't think it would hurt anything. I know that my matron of honor is dying to give me one, when the groom's family is also planning on one. And there is still the possiblity that my family would throw one. I just want one, but can't stop everyone. ;)

[deb3903]

Interesting questions you raise. I'm happy to give my two cents.

I'm personally not a fan of the wedding shower, because it basically means the guests have to buy two gifts for the same couple: pne for the shower and one for the wedding. And when a guest is invited to multiple showers for the same person and need even more gifts, it almost gets silly. I'm all for having a party, but by terming it a "shower" it means gifts are expected.

Also, as you know, the tradition of the shower was created when a bride moved from her parents' home to a new home with her husband and they really didn't own many of the things they'd need to live (like sheets, dishes, etc). Nowadays, since most everyone already has that stuff before they marry, it seems superfluous.

Bridesmaids also are your choice.

Basically, in the modern age of weddings, you really do have a lot of choices about what traditions you want and which you don't

Good Luck!!!

[mrs.bell]

They way I did the whole SHOWER thing, is I had one big one. I told my mom from day one that I didn't want to add anymore to my schedule of wedding planning by having 3-4 different showers. So I had one big one that all of our family, friends, church friends, etc. where invited to. Thus, aleviating the problem of people feeling like they have to give more than is warranted. Even then, if they ***e to the wedding I don't feel they have to give a second gift. That is excessive to buy one for a shower and then another for the wedding.

In conclusion, I think it is totally a personal choice on what you do. If you don't want to bother with it, don't. If people insist that you have at least one, do it all in one afternoon and no more. By all means, it is YOUR WEDDING AND NO ONE SHOULD TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT! It is your time to shine not theirs.

[purpleaa]

I'm personally not a fan of the wedding shower, because it basically means the guests have to buy two gifts for the same couple: pne for the shower and one for the wedding. And when a guest is invited to multiple showers for the same person and need even more gifts, it almost gets silly. I'm all for having a party, but by terming it a "shower" it means gifts are expected.

Also, as you know, the tradition of the shower was created when a bride moved from her parents' home to a new home with her husband and they really didn't own many of the things they'd need to live (like sheets, dishes, etc). Nowadays, since most everyone already has that stuff before they marry, it seems superfluous. Basically, in the modern age of weddings, you really do have a lot of choices about what traditions you want and which you don't.

Amen, deb3903. I agree. Showers have gotten out of hand. I feel it's impolite to invite people to >1 shower for the same bride. I also feel it's high time showers turned into a more low-key party with the focus on celebration rather than gifts. I have mixed feelings about not calling it a shower though. Of course the word shower itself makes it clear that gifts are expected. But I think even those of us with more modern practices might be a bit confused if we got an invitation to something for the bride that didn't say the word shower. If it just says party or something like that, I'd think, ok, is there a shower at a later date, or was there a shower and I wasn't invited? I think invitations that say, "in lieu of a shower" make things clear for guests.

Mrs. Bell, I agree that 1 consolidated shower is MUCH easier on the bride than a bunch of smaller ones, with the added benefit of the families socializing with each other. But the problem is that the potential hostesses don't always want to take responsibility for hosting a bigger party rather than a small one, so it's not always possible. Just a thought.