How much money is enough???

[loveatfirstphp]

Hello, this is only my second post and I have recieved great help thus far. I'm not sure if I'm posting this is the correct place or not but it does deal with the issue of money.
My fiance and I have been together for 4 years and engaged for 1 yr 2 months. We are both still in college and have delayed getting married until we graduate. Both my family and his family and my best friend believe we should wait until we graduate and start our careers before we get married. They are afraid that we won't have enough money and that we should focus on our careers first. Even my fiance is slightly scared. But I'm the only one that sees it differently. I think 10,000 dollars is enough to start us on our way, and we both have full time jobs at this time. At this time no one agrees with me and I am wondering if I'm really the one who is trying to jump into things too fast. I know money can be a big issue when it comes to choosing when to get married. Does anyone have some helpful advice? Thanks :)

[belleberrie]

When my fiance got down on one knee, I was already picturing myself walking down the aisle. We had been dating for 2 years and from the moment I saw him I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. So all that waiting stuff was just a formality and now that we were engaged we could get married...tomorrow?

Actually, picking out a date was a lot harder than I thought. I didn't want to wait longer than a year (My fiance and I had promised to remain pure before God in our relationship, and we have never kissed. So, waiting was not my favorite thing to do, and once he proposed all I saw were green lights and thought let's do this ASAP.), and to my shock and astonishment my fiance wanted to wait until after he was done with school. Two years, maybe more before I would be the blushing bride I so badly wanted to be. We set the date for May 27, 2006, two years into the future. At least I had a date and I could start the countdown.

When my fiance ***e to me, months later, and said he wanted to marry in a year instead, my heart danced and I was so very excited. Although the new date, May 28, 2004, gave me only ten months to plan, I was willing to take the serious cut in time. Before we ***e to the decision to have the wedding sooner, we sat down and talked to my fiance's parents. His dad was very much opposed to us getting married a year earlier, and said we weren't ready. However, I ***e to our meeting prepared and persuasively laid out why I thought we were ready to get married. I explained that I had been keeping a very tight budget and putting away money for our wedding and for the future expenses our new apartment together would incur. I did a lot of research over the internet to find out what exactly I was getting myself into. Of course I knew beyond doubt that I wanted to be married, but because it is something I have never done before, I didn't know a lot about the details. I wanted to know what other couples struggled with, etc. Well, I learned that the top reason for stress and divorce in the first years of marriage was financial problems. So, I figured if I could keep to a strict budget, not spend impulsively, "pretend" I was paying rent for an apartment (saving up the equivalent to a rent payment each month), and factor in electric, food, and all the other expensives that come with a home, then I would be able to manage a home. I brought all this information to my future father-in-law and the response was a simple "wow." Maybe if you show your family that you are financial ready to take on the responsibility of marriage, then they will be more comfortable with the idea of you marrying sooner.

My fiance and I both attend college and also work. For the past year I have been working full-time and going to school full-time, so I know I can handle a lot. I feel confident that we will be able to handle marriage, and now his parents agree because they know I am responsible and ready.

As for the budget, our budget is also $10,000. It is very helpful to go to a site where a wedding budgeter is available to estimate your costs per services. At theknot.com you can type in your budget, number of attendants, and number of guests and they give you estimates on what you should spend for each category. Now, I suggest that you pick three things that are very important to you. My three were the reception hall, the photographer, and the videographer. I was willing to pay a little more in these areas because they are so important to me. However, I am willing to cut back in other areas to keep costs down. If you set a budget, stick with it no matter what. And don't set your budget to the most you can possibly handle, because remember, after the wedding day there are bills and accidents and things that come up that require $$$. Don't go broke having the wedding of your dreams. Don't go into debt for your wedding, because although it is the most important day of your life thus far, it could leave a bad taste in your mouth if you are still paying for it three years down the road. Make sure you have money saved up for extra rents, car repair, etc.

Make sure you are absolutely 150% sure that you can handle this. Don't depend on other people's help, because you never know what can come up (unemployment, a fire, etc.) that would bring your wedding plans to a screeching halt. If you bring this information to your family and they still don't see eye to eye with you, then ask yourself (or them) why. These are the people that love you and want the absolute best for you. If you aren't sure you can handle it, they will see that and steer you clear of making any decision you regret.

Well, that was longer than I thought it would be, but I could go on and on. I hope this helps, and I would be more than happy to offer more advice as I get closer to my wedding day...

Anabella

Hello, this is only my second post and I have recieved great help thus far. I'm not sure if I'm posting this is the correct place or not but it does deal with the issue of money.
My fiance and I have been together for 4 years and engaged for 1 yr 2 months. We are both still in college and have delayed getting married until we graduate. Both my family and his family and my best friend believe we should wait until we graduate and start our careers before we get married. They are afraid that we won't have enough money and that we should focus on our careers first. Even my fiance is slightly scared. But I'm the only one that sees it differently. I think 10,000 dollars is enough to start us on our way, and we both have full time jobs at this time. At this time no one agrees with me and I am wondering if I'm really the one who is trying to jump into things too fast. I know money can be a big issue when it comes to choosing when to get married. Does anyone have some helpful advice? Thanks :)

[nle5]

I am also a college student and will be graduating in May 2006. When my fiance asked me to marry him the first thing I asked was if he was willing to wait until I was finished with school. This is my second marriage and the first time around I actually dropped out of school because of my now ex-husband. Therefore, getting my degree this time around is very important to me. Then I started to realize that if I got married a couple of months before I graduate then my new name will be on my diploma as well as the AZ state certification for teachers. I would suggest that if there are any state certifications in your area that either of you need to obtain that you get married a few months before you graduate. By getting married before you graduate it will save you some money in the long run because most state certifications will cost money to have a name change.

As far as a budget, the two of you need to sit down and decide what you want to pay for the wedding. By deciding the budget then you can decide what type of wedding (formal, semi-formal, etc) that you would like. This will also help you decide what type of buget will be needed for the weeding. I plan on having a semi-formal wedding at the gazebo area and then having the reception at the community center. By doing it this way I will save about 1/2 of the money that I would need for other things.

As far as food is concerned, I am going to self cater the reception. This will also save quite a bit of money. Another thing is to have a cash bar instead of an open. Doing a cash bar would mean that the guests will pay for their own drnks. However, an open bar would mean that the bride/groom pay for the open bar drinks.

[kittycarial]

I got engaged in October, 2003 and have gone from October 9th to August 14th to finally Sept. 4th for a wedding day. We are only having a small wedding, but a classy one nonetheless. Our budget is only about $1,500. for the whole thing, including my dress, flowers, food, hotel, etc. When I went shopping for a dress, I went to David's Bridal, and was flabergasted. All the "cheap" dresses ($300 and under), were ugly. All the beautiful ones were like $900 and up. I then had an idea. I thought that since this wasn't a traditional relationship or wedding, why should I have a traditional dress? David's Bridal has wonderful bridesmaids dresses that come in seperates, so you can mix and match, in every available color. I chose a sleeveless top with a ballroom skirt in the color of periwinkle. It cost me total $150.00. I went to Michael's and bought a veil, $20.00. I also bought, or my mother did I should say, my flowers, silk, for $100.00-yeah that's kinda pricey, but she went all out. I went to Burlington Coat Factory to buy my daughters dress, $35.00. My mother saved us by buying our wedding rings for a pre-present. They are beautiful and we wouldn't have been able to afford them on our own. My fiancee's mother is a minister and she is going to marry us, so we are saving money on a Justice of the Peace. There are many different ways to cut costs.

[bjmy1975]

Kitty is right, there are many ways to cut costs. You can make things yourself. You can buy things on clearance. Part of our cost cutting was finding a reception site that supplied things, like linens and cake cutting, in the price. We are also considering silk flowers instead of real. If you are really dilligent about knowing exactly how much each item costs, you should be able to keep your costs down. Just don't walk into to a florist and say I want.... and not find out exactly how much it's gonna cost, or you may be over your budget quickly. And don't just take the first florist, photographer, etc that you come to. Shop around... ask around... see what's out there. You can have a beautiful wedding on your budget. :)

[loveatfirstphp]

I would really like to thank you for your help that all of you provided on this issue. I didn't realize there were others out there in the same situation. You all have helped me a lot. I'm going to share all this information with my finance as well as my family. Thanks also for the money saving tips, those will come in handy when the big day finally arrives. Since I posted my note, my finace and I have discussed the situation and are seriously considering getting married July or August 2005.
Thanks again!!! :)

[instantmon]

eBay!!!!
I got my entire bridal outfit on ebay for less than $400 - this is including custom-made dress, 2 pairs of shoes, veil, tiara, and bustier.
great dressmaker's user-name on ebay (do a search): bargain-hunter-hua
I also got all my centerpiece elements - votives and candles, silver trays, gems for scattering, etc on ebay!! Honestly saved LOTS and LOTS of $$ - start searching!
Good luck!! :D