Help!!!!! I don't know where to start!

[Bcookson]

I just recently got engaged. My made of honor lives in another state, One of my best friends really doesn't seem to intrested in helping me plan, (although I already asked her to be one of my bridesmaids) and My other bridesmaid(also lives in another state) doesn't think she can even SHOW UP!!!! I'm so FREAKING OUT!!! Me and my mother have started to "look" around, but I don't even no where to begin. This isn't as much "fun" as I hoped it would be. I feel like I'm in this all alone! HELP!!!!! What can I do? I really want to do alot of things myself for my wedding, but we have decided that most of the things, well, we will hire people to do this. I know it's still a year and a half away, but I'm "told" it's never too early to start ( of course it seems I'm doing most of this by myself, so the earlier the better, I guess) ANY advice at all will be very useful, I PROMISE!!!!!

:( :( bridget

[volcmgrl33]

HI Bridget-

Don't worry things will work out for you. I was sorta in the same boat as you with the whole out of town bridesmaid thing. I just kept letting the girls know what I wanted help on and just kept reminding them and they are all starting to take a part now in planning, guaranteed that I got engaged in Dec and this is June but they are all playing a part- even the out of towners.
Also, I started by buying one of those wedding planner books- just to get a feel of how things go by the book. It helps. Also I have bought so many magazines. You can find so many ideas from your hair down to your shoes. The magazines were great because if you live in a place where there aren't many wedding shops they tell you where all the shops are. Also if you find a dress in a magazine tear it out and take it to a dress shop and they are grateful that you brought a picture cause it helps them so much more than you can believe.
If you need help and your bridesmaids can't or won't help you, you can try family and other friends. Family, especially moms, normally they are more than willing to do anything to help. Aunts, if you like them, can be great too.
Dad, if interested can help too.
Let me know how things go and if there is anything else I can do to help.
-Tabitha ;)

[rmelson1325]

Hi -
I've been engaged since December of '03 and it really is never too early to start planning. My wedding isn't until June '05. The best advice I can give is to not panic. There are several websites where you can basically plan your whole wedding. I have looked at several. Check out some of these sites and you will find a ton of information and planning guides. This site is also a very good resource. Here are a few that I have visited: theknot.com, weddingchannel.com, and ezweddingplanner.com are all very good resources. Check out the planning lists. The ezwedding planner even breaks down your checklist into specific dates to keep you from falling behind on the multitude of wedding tasks.
Good luck and Happy Planning!
Rachel

I just recently got engaged. My made of honor lives in another state, One of my best friends really doesn't seem to intrested in helping me plan, (although I already asked her to be one of my bridesmaids) and My other bridesmaid(also lives in another state) doesn't think she can even SHOW UP!!!! I'm so FREAKING OUT!!! Me and my mother have started to "look" around, but I don't even no where to begin. This isn't as much "fun" as I hoped it would be. I feel like I'm in this all alone! HELP!!!!! What can I do? I really want to do alot of things myself for my wedding, but we have decided that most of the things, well, we will hire people to do this. I know it's still a year and a half away, but I'm "told" it's never too early to start ( of course it seems I'm doing most of this by myself, so the earlier the better, I guess) ANY advice at all will be very useful, I PROMISE!!!!!

:( :( bridget

[bjmy1975]

Just take everything one step at a time. Buy a wedding planner book. I have the one that coordinates with this website. Almost everything in the book is on the website. It'll answer a lot of questions for you. And what it doesn't answer this forum generally does. Then you need to
Book your locations and church and Dj or Band first, since those are the most important and sometime hardest to get. Then look through magazines and on the internet for pictures of dresses then go looking for them in stores. I think it's easier than stareing at the rows of dresses... they all look the same to me hanging in a big row... I wouldn't have known where to start if I had done it that way. I went in to see some from a magazine and just happened to notice another one that I had seen in the magazine. I ended up with that dress. I looked at many bridesmaids dresses on the internet and then would go into the shops by myself and look at them. Then I took my mom and my matron of honor. Finally I took my matron of honor and groom's sister to try them on and let them pick from the ones I had selected off the internet. I've been searching now for cakes and flowers on the internet just to get ideas. I print them out and take them to the florist and see what they would cost. At some point I will take the mom's or bridesmaids with but they work a different schedule than me, so I have been kind of doing it myself. I just pick one thing to go out and look at and then later I take someone else. That way I don't get over opinioned all at once. Half of my wedding party lives out of town, so most of what they will be involved with will be that week of the wedding. I personally think that will work out better. It'll save tears and voices... I tend to get a little worked up sometimes. :o I'm trying to stick to a budget, so I've been shopping discount stores to find bells and bubbles cheaper and did that. I used ebay to get somethings and the rest I'm counting on my crafting abilities to make. I want it to be my wedding.. not a cookie cutter wedding... so it'll have my touches to it. I've been getting things and ideas from Michael's.. They are very handy. I come up with ideas discuss them with basically anyone who will listen and then try them out for cost and useablity... is that a word? Remember take it one project at a time and make a list with dates to have it done by. (And don't worry about doing it in the order or by the dates that the wedding planner tells you to. I had my dress before I had the church, reception location, and DJ.) In my opinion things can never be done too soon. It's less to worry about next summer!! :) And as far as wedding shopping being "fun", the most fun I have had is when I've gone looking by myself. I love my friends and family dearly, but if the groom gets a stomache ache one more time while looking at unity candles... he may never get the chance to light it! :p Just stay calm, get a little organized, and it will be a beautiful day. And I'd bet you can do it all by yourself!!! ;)

[Bcookson]

Just take everything one step at a time. Buy a wedding planner book. I have the one that coordinates with this website. Almost everything in the book is on the website. It'll answer a lot of questions for you. And what it doesn't answer this forum generally does. Then you need to
Book your locations and church and Dj or Band first, since those are the most important and sometime hardest to get. Then look through magazines and on the internet for pictures of dresses then go looking for them in stores. I think it's easier than stareing at the rows of dresses... they all look the same to me hanging in a big row... I wouldn't have known where to start if I had done it that way. I went in to see some from a magazine and just happened to notice another one that I had seen in the magazine. I ended up with that dress. I looked at many bridesmaids dresses on the internet and then would go into the shops by myself and look at them. Then I took my mom and my matron of honor. Finally I took my matron of honor and groom's sister to try them on and let them pick from the ones I had selected off the internet. I've been searching now for cakes and flowers on the internet just to get ideas. I print them out and take them to the florist and see what they would cost. At some point I will take the mom's or bridesmaids with but they work a different schedule than me, so I have been kind of doing it myself. I just pick one thing to go out and look at and then later I take someone else. That way I don't get over opinioned all at once. Half of my wedding party lives out of town, so most of what they will be involved with will be that week of the wedding. I personally think that will work out better. It'll save tears and voices... I tend to get a little worked up sometimes. :o I'm trying to stick to a budget, so I've been shopping discount stores to find bells and bubbles cheaper and did that. I used ebay to get somethings and the rest I'm counting on my crafting abilities to make. I want it to be my wedding.. not a cookie cutter wedding... so it'll have my touches to it. I've been getting things and ideas from Michael's.. They are very handy. I come up with ideas discuss them with basically anyone who will listen and then try them out for cost and useablity... is that a word? Remember take it one project at a time and make a list with dates to have it done by. (And don't worry about doing it in the order or by the dates that the wedding planner tells you to. I had my dress before I had the church, reception location, and DJ.) In my opinion things can never be done too soon. It's less to worry about next summer!! :) And as far as wedding shopping being "fun", the most fun I have had is when I've gone looking by myself. I love my friends and family dearly, but if the groom gets a stomache ache one more time while looking at unity candles... he may never get the chance to light it! :p Just stay calm, get a little organized, and it will be a beautiful day. And I'd bet you can do it all by yourself!!! ;)

Thank you so much. I great to know there are people out there going through the same thing and working it all in there favor! Your right! It will be a beautiful day , and I alone will make it that way! thanks fir the suggestions! I really needed to here those, it's not like I have ever planned a wedding before! I haven't even looked on ebay yet. your right, everybody elses opinions will only makes it harder for me to choose what I want. thank you very much and good luck to your self!

[Bcookson]

Hi -
I've been engaged since December of '03 and it really is never too early to start planning. My wedding isn't until June '05. The best advice I can give is to not panic. There are several websites where you can basically plan your whole wedding. I have looked at several. Check out some of these sites and you will find a ton of information and planning guides. This site is also a very good resource. Here are a few that I have visited: theknot.com, weddingchannel.com, and ezweddingplanner.com are all very good resources. Check out the planning lists. The ezwedding planner even breaks down your checklist into specific dates to keep you from falling behind on the multitude of wedding tasks.
Good luck and Happy Planning!
Rachel

Thank you so very much for the idea's where to look! I need all the help I can get! I have checked out a couple of them but I never thought of using there checklists. I'm trying so hard to to panic! or fall behind! Thank you again and good luck with your wedding, I 'm sure it will be wonderful!

[Bcookson]

HI Bridget-

Don't worry things will work out for you. I was sorta in the same boat as you with the whole out of town bridesmaid thing. I just kept letting the girls know what I wanted help on and just kept reminding them and they are all starting to take a part now in planning, guaranteed that I got engaged in Dec and this is June but they are all playing a part- even the out of towners.
Also, I started by buying one of those wedding planner books- just to get a feel of how things go by the book. It helps. Also I have bought so many magazines. You can find so many ideas from your hair down to your shoes. The magazines were great because if you live in a place where there aren't many wedding shops they tell you where all the shops are. Also if you find a dress in a magazine tear it out and take it to a dress shop and they are grateful that you brought a picture cause it helps them so much more than you can believe.
If you need help and your bridesmaids can't or won't help you, you can try family and other friends. Family, especially moms, normally they are more than willing to do anything to help. Aunts, if you like them, can be great too.
Dad, if interested can help too.
Let me know how things go and if there is anything else I can do to help.
-Tabitha ;)

I haven't tried the whole magazines thing yet. I don't know why, but I didn't think about it, I guess I was to wrapped up in panic! Thank you so much! I will take your advice and keep reminding them, after all they are my friends!

[scangel86]

Also one thing you can do that I think saves money in the end is hire a wedding planner/consultant/coordinator. Their experience and knowledge can save you so much time and money that it is worth it. A friend of mine recently got married and did everything herself and was stressed out right up to the second she walked out (not that this will be the case with you). However, when it ***e time to start planning mine, she told me that if she could do it over she'd hire a planner without question. So I have one and so far it's been so easy...they make timelines for you and take care of all the details and communications with vendors. Anyway, something to look into. :)
Good Luck!

[Kristen]

I started planning my own wedding but with a full time job i didn't have time to shop around for vendors. I found Pixydust Weddings - and they were able to get me much better prices for flowers, invitations etc. They also do custom wedding logos and favors. Jennifer even ***e with me and my bridesmaids to pick out dresses and was an objective mediator. She even got the dress store to discount the dresses from 240 to 190 for each girl.
Anway - her e-mail is jennifer@pixydustevents.com and you have to be crazy not to go this route. I see other brides getting ripped off- it's good to have a planner on your side.
Kristen




Also one thing you can do that I think saves money in the end is hire a wedding planner/consultant/coordinator. Their experience and knowledge can save you so much time and money that it is worth it. A friend of mine recently got married and did everything herself and was stressed out right up to the second she walked out (not that this will be the case with you). However, when it ***e time to start planning mine, she told me that if she could do it over she'd hire a planner without question. So I have one and so far it's been so easy...they make timelines for you and take care of all the details and communications with vendors. Anyway, something to look into. :)
Good Luck!

[Tropical Weddings]

I just recently got engaged. My made of honor lives in another state, One of my best friends really doesn't seem to intrested in helping me plan, (although I already asked her to be one of my bridesmaids) and My other bridesmaid(also lives in another state) doesn't think she can even SHOW UP!!!! I'm so FREAKING OUT!!! Me and my mother have started to "look" around, but I don't even no where to begin. This isn't as much "fun" as I hoped it would be. I feel like I'm in this all alone! HELP!!!!! What can I do? I really want to do alot of things myself for my wedding, but we have decided that most of the things, well, we will hire people to do this. I know it's still a year and a half away, but I'm "told" it's never too early to start ( of course it seems I'm doing most of this by myself, so the earlier the better, I guess) ANY advice at all will be very useful, I PROMISE!!!!!

:( :( bridget

Hi,
Sorry about you friend, first of all, planing a wedding can be pretty easy, fist you need to decide on where you wan to get married, number of guest you need , what you will hav eon your menu and so on, if you'd like help, you can email me..tropical_weddings@yahoo.com.....by the way where do you wnt to get married, caribbean, us..where

Tropical
www.tropicalweddingsjamaica.com (http://www.tropicalweddingsjamaica.com)

[RadioLyss]

Hi just thought I would add a little more advice to all the great stuff you have already recieved.

First-- just cause your sister is in another state doesn't mean she can't help you with preplanning things! There is the internet for us new brides-to-be! Since it has been around for so long, alot of reception sites, caterers, and bands, and florists have gotten on-line with their information! If you really are in the early stages your sister could easily start surfing for sites in your area to have your reception at. She could then pass along whatever she finds out about ones she thinks you may like to you.

My sister lives about 2 hours away, but she has been helping me. She knows the type of dress I am looking for, the type of site I am looking for, and the color I want for my bridesmaides dresses, and for her MOH dress. She searches around, and when she finds something good she e-mails me the link, and I go check it out too. If it is way off I let her know so she doesn't waiste her time looking at similar things any more.

If your friend is seriously not sure she will be able to make your wedding you should know now so that you can make other arrangements for a bridesmaid! You could always plan that she could do a reading, or light candles and if it turns out she truely won't be there someone else can step in to that position pretty easily. Also, if you live in the New England area go to your local Barnes and Noble... they have a wedding registery book filled with places to have receptions. It can help you find a starting point. I also have found that if I like a site, but it is a little too expensive I can look at their list of prefered vendors, and go to the Caterer's website. From that website I can look at other venues where the caterer has worked and can find similar settings for less $$.

I agree with an ealier post that you should get a planner. I got the one that goes with this website and LOVE it!! Oh and if you want to do a lot of things yourself -- check out the D-I-Y section of this forum.... a lot of good ideas are there! Good luck! :)