Etiquette crazy!

[KRYSTAL NELMS]

My fiancee and I are not speaking to each other because we are having problems selecting people to be in our wedding. I am unsure of the age limit of the flower girl and ring bearer. Is there an age limit? My fiancee's son is 12 and he wants to be the ring bearer, and I didn't mind at first until someone told me that they were too old. Please help me!

[bjmy1975]

My first tip would be do what you want to do and ignore the other people. When you say ring bearer, people see a snot nose little 3 year old with a lacey heart pillow. I have a bridesmaid that will be 16 or 17, I don't remember when her birthday is. The church says a witness has to be 16, I think. I have two 12 year old junior bridemaids, an 8 year old flower girl, a 11 year old junior groomsman, and a 6 year old ring bearer. I want thos kids in my wedding party and no one will tell me otherwise!.. The flower girl will have a boquette instead of a basket. If you really want him to be a ring bearer, he could bring the rings down in a treasure chest instead of on a pillow. Not everyone has a two year old to toss petals, or run down the asile with a pillow. In the end it is your wedding and you get the final say on what's what. I'd say either make him a junior groomsman or ring bearer. I'm not big on what the ediquete books tell me. :D

[Sarah]

If you and your fiance are not speaking to each other because of a little detail like this, then you have bigger issues than the ring bearer!! Please, please, STOP, take a deep breath, REMEMBER why you are getting married in the first place!! This is a stressful time for all of you. You, your fiance, and his son should be able to reach a compromise about this and all the other issues that will come up. It will be good practice for your new lives together. If he wants to be the ring bearer and you were okay with it before, then ignore "someone." Yes, it is unusual for a young man of this age to do it, but so what? Or maybe you could find an alternative role for him that makes him feel just as much a part of the joining of your new family (like jr. groomsman). Whatever you decide, PLEASE keep your priorities straight and remember WHY you are doing this. Good luck!

[dublin]

I would do what makes you and your fiance happy.