What should we do about the bar?

[Kim&Jared]

I need advice on what to do about the bar. We would like to have alcohol served throughout the entire reception. (i hate it when you go to an event and the car is only open during dinner what are you suppose to do after an hour of dancing and you're very thirsty?) So I would like to have an open bar for the entire evening but that of course is very expensive. but it's seems like having a cash bar is a big no no. So what should i do? I'm also worried that an open bar would invite more guests to get very sloppy and i really don't want that either. would an open bar for the cocktail hour or during dinner followed by a cash bar for the remainder of the reception be inappropriate?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! :)
~Kim

[bjmy1975]

I think you should do what you want. Most of the weddings I remember as a kid were held at a club where there was a bar. Ours will have an open bar with beer until 7 or 9, then it is a cash bar. However, that is because of the rules of the receptin location. I have the luxury of seeing how all this works out since my future sister in law is having her reception there this August.

[dublin]

I would suggest telling the coordinator at your reception site that you would like to purchase a specific dollar amount of liquor including bottles of wine and kegs of beer. When that amount is gone, it is then that the bar will be a cash bar.

[Andrea]

I need advice on what to do about the bar. We would like to have alcohol served throughout the entire reception. (i hate it when you go to an event and the car is only open during dinner what are you suppose to do after an hour of dancing and you're very thirsty?) So I would like to have an open bar for the entire evening but that of course is very expensive. but it's seems like having a cash bar is a big no no. So what should i do? I'm also worried that an open bar would invite more guests to get very sloppy and i really don't want that either. would an open bar for the cocktail hour or during dinner followed by a cash bar for the remainder of the reception be inappropriate?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! :)
~Kim
Hey look at the bright side at least you have some what under control and then there is enough to be delightfull rather then distasteful and not to little that people can't celebrate your wedding

[valmeida]

I need advice on what to do about the bar. We would like to have alcohol served throughout the entire reception. (i hate it when you go to an event and the car is only open during dinner what are you suppose to do after an hour of dancing and you're very thirsty?) So I would like to have an open bar for the entire evening but that of course is very expensive. but it's seems like having a cash bar is a big no no. So what should i do? I'm also worried that an open bar would invite more guests to get very sloppy and i really don't want that either. would an open bar for the cocktail hour or during dinner followed by a cash bar for the remainder of the reception be inappropriate?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! :)
~Kim

I would suggest having an open bar for an hour at the beginning and then having a cash bar for any hard liquor. You can still have an open bar of beer, wine, water and soda. This not only keeps the costs down, it keeps anyone from taking advantage of the free liquor by doing shots or anything else, and ruining your wedding. Congratulations to you and best of luck with your new life. God Bless![/SIZE]

[RadioLyss]

I would suggest having an open bar for an hour at the beginning and then having a cash bar for any hard liquor. You can still have an open bar of beer, wine, water and soda. This not only keeps the costs down, it keeps anyone from taking advantage of the free liquor by doing shots or anything else, and ruining your wedding. Congratulations to you and best of luck with your new life. God Bless![/SIZE]

I agree that deciding what to do about a bar is always difficult. I think that having beer, wine, and soda/water on the house for the entire event works well. If people want the harder stuff then I don't see any problem with having them pay for it! That is how my friends ran their wedding and it worked out great.

[Twinkle*Eyes]

I agree that it would be nice to provide beer, wine, and soda for the entire reception. Providing hard alcohol is optional, depending on your budget and the drinking habits of your guests!

[RadioLyss]

An update on things I have found out...

My fiance and I have chosen a location that only allows a hosted bar for 2 hours. After that all alchohol is cash bar only! Lucky for us the place has nice signs that they put out explaining that the policy is theirs and not ours. I have spoken to alot of friends and we are going with a beer and wine bar for the 2 hosted hours.

I think that a cash bar is getting to be more and more common so I think it will be fine if you decide to do that!

[mermaid]

I understand some of your dilema, since inviting people to an event and then asking them to pay is a big no no. However, the bar is a different issue. If you are providing your guests with dinner, coffee service and a drink for the toast, then having a cash bar is not asking your guests to pay their own way. The only people who go to a wedding for those of modest means and expect an open bar are the people who are out to abuse the open bar.

If you can afford it, then have an open bar during a cocktail hour and then switch to a cash bar. Or provide guests with complementary drink tickets for 1 or 2 drinks and then they're on their own. In either case, limiting the bar to beer & wine can also control costs.

Their are too many issues involved with over drinking to be concerned about offending your guests with a cash bar.

If your main concern is simply that your guests will get thirsty after dancing and as the evening goes on, then ask the reception site to extend the coffee service or keep water pitchers full.

[baconsmom]

I need advice on what to do about the bar. We would like to have alcohol served throughout the entire reception. (i hate it when you go to an event and the car is only open during dinner what are you suppose to do after an hour of dancing and you're very thirsty?) So I would like to have an open bar for the entire evening but that of course is very expensive. but it's seems like having a cash bar is a big no no. So what should i do? I'm also worried that an open bar would invite more guests to get very sloppy and i really don't want that either. would an open bar for the cocktail hour or during dinner followed by a cash bar for the remainder of the reception be inappropriate?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! :)
~Kim
Can't you do only wine and beer for the duration of the reception? That keeps costs down and prevents a lot of the sloppy behaviour. Also, does your caterer not provide non-alcoholic drinks as part of their service? (all the ones I've looked at offer iced tea, water, tea and coffee as part of the meal, as well as most offering champagne for the toast.)

Cash bars are not acceptable. One doesn't invite people to a party and then present them a bill for what they've consumed at the party. You're the host; it is up to you to provide refreshments and to make that part of your budget.

[Yodabean]

Can't you do only wine and beer for the duration of the reception? That keeps costs down and prevents a lot of the sloppy behaviour. Also, does your caterer not provide non-alcoholic drinks as part of their service? (all the ones I've looked at offer iced tea, water, tea and coffee as part of the meal, as well as most offering champagne for the toast.)

Cash bars are not acceptable. One doesn't invite people to a party and then present them a bill for what they've consumed at the party. You're the host; it is up to you to provide refreshments and to make that part of your budget.

I have to disagree with you. Cash bars are widely accepted these days. Yeah, it may not be considered (Proper Ettiquette) but many things have changed since the (Proper Ettiquetee) list ***e out. Brides have gotten smarter and started realizing they can pretty much do what they want to have the dream wedding that they want. I think its great if you have enought money to pay for all the alcohol at your wedding but alot of other people don't nor do they think they should have to. I feel I am giving my guest enough of free options that if they are not happy enough with it then they can leave and go somewhere else to get it. I actually thing my guest will appreciate that I am offering them hard alcohol if they want to buy it I am at least giving them the option. I personally will be offering 2 kegs of beer and wine and then everything else alcoholic will be cash bar.

[nle5]

Again, we are posting to an OLD post thanks to baconsmom.

Cash bars are widely accepted now days especially since more brides and grooms are paying for their entire wedding. If a cash bar was NOT acceptable I think the wedding caterer would inform you of the situation. When I have asked caterers about the aspects of a bar at the reception the first one they told me about was a cash bar. Should I have opted to use a bar I would have chosen the cash bar option. However, I am NOT having alcohol at the wedding so it works out anyways.

[nmb082005]

I completely agree with the other ladies, a cash bar is perfectly acceptabe as long as something to drink is provided. we will have water tea milk coffee which is all provided by the caterer as well as beer and enought wine for dinner which will be on us, there will be liquor and other beverages which will be available on a cash basis.

[SOM Z28]

Our reception package includes a 3 hour open bar. After that, I've instructed the Country club to only serve soft drinks, water, tea, etc. That way, the last hour, no one is drinking.

[SusanM18]

I am having a 6 hour reception with a 4 hour open bar.
The cocktail hour is 5:30-6:30pm, then dinner at 6:30, from 6:30-7:30pm there will be no open bar. 7:30-10:30pm is open bar and the final hour is not.

[AK47]

I myself was worried about similar issues. We decided to do open bar up to a certain dollar amount and then cash bar after that. :)

I completely agree with the other ladies, a cash bar is perfectly acceptabe as long as something to drink is provided. we will have water tea milk coffee which is all provided by the caterer as well as beer and enought wine for dinner which will be on us, there will be liquor and other beverages which will be available on a cash basis.

[Yodabean]

For those of you who are doing a open bar for part of the night how is your reception facility charging you? Per drink or per person? I guess I am not sure how that all works. I have made arrangements to have 2 kegs provided but I am wondering if I should change and do something where it is open bar for a certain amount of time and make rest of it cash bar. How much are they charging you to do this?

[Phillybride]

I am not a fan of cash bar -as the host/hostess, I wouldn't ask anyone to pay for any part of my party, whether it's at a wedding or in my own home.

That being said, I think there are a few options other than making your guests fork over their wallets every time they want a refreshment:

I like the beer and wine idea -provide the house wine and beer. (or you could get away with just wine, because it's a fancy event) If a guest wants hard stuff, they're on their own to negotiate that with the bartenders. (I think the ettiquette and graciousness goes both ways...guests shouldn't be too demanding at a party)

I've also heard of doing a signature cocktail...(ie. vodka lemonade, if it's a summer wedding), and then soda, water, juices...it supposedly can keep the cost down

also, look into a reception site that lets you bring in your own alcohol. that can keep the cost down...you can buy it at cost (or avoid certain taxes) -and your servers can serve it.

[Kelly1Mickey]

Has anyone considered a "Hostess Bar"? Instead of having an open bar, the bar keeps a tab as if it were a cash bar. Then you pay the tab at the end of the night. I know my venue charges a HEFTY price ( I think $17 pp for the 1st hour and $9 pp addtional hour) to do an open bar...and they charge for each person over the age of 21. Well, nobody in my family will be drinking so much that it would warrant spending that much! Plus there will be several people who don't drink at all and you still have to pay or them. Not all places allow a Hostess Bar, but it is worth asking.