rxyb13
05-24-2004, 12:44 PM
My fiance and I have been engaged since february and will not be getting married until Summer 2005 because we will be finishing up college. When is the appropriate time to take engagement pictures and send announcements? When should I appoint my maid of honor and bridesmaids? Also, my mother really has nothing to do with my wedding, but his mother is dying to help me plan everything and wants to start everything now. Since we are still finishing school is it bad to let his parents help pay for the wedding?
bjmy1975
06-03-2004, 11:45 AM
We are getting married in August of 2005. We've known since Febuary, so we talked a lot about who was in our party. I asked my matron of honor then, but that was because she doesn't talk to anyone that we were keeping it quiet from for a while. We started to tell people about our plans in April. But we were origanially planning on waiting until after my fiance's sister's August wedding. We told his mother's family on mother's day and his dad's family May 23rd. I asked the wedding party then just to make sure that those people were going to agree to be in it. I have been paying on my dress and the flower girl dress since Febuary, and the Dj, room, catering,and church since March. I wasn't going to gte my engament ring until after his sister's wedding, but now I'm getting it soon. So we will probably have our pictures taken in August or September and probably submit our announcement in Novemember or December. However, our paper will print it when they have space and I assume that it prints the closer dated weddings first. I've been working on our wedding plans since Febuary... that's over 18 months, and I've been told that the longer you have to plan the better. And as for your mother planning things for you, that's what my future sister in law did. However, the wedding is here and she goes to school somewhere else far away. I guess that's up to you and your mother.
Sarah
06-05-2004, 09:56 PM
Congratulations on your engagement!
Engagement pictures...whenever you can squeeze them in!
Announcements...I'm not sure what you mean here. If you mean an announcement of your engagement to be placed in the newspaper, I'd say as soon as you've set the date as it can take awhile for them to run it. If you mean sending announcements of your engagement to family and friends....not sure. Maybe you could tell them over the phone or face-to-face; this seems more personal. If someone is throwing an engagement party for you, then people will figure it out from the invitations! If you mean sending wedding announcements, these are sent to people who were not invited to the wedding, and are generally dropped in the mailbox the day of or the day after the wedding (delegate someone to do this!).
Planning....start NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!! (Get the idea? :p ) The longer you have to plan, the fewer nastier surprises will rear their ugly heads. Don't forget, you'll have your hands full with finals and then graduation shortly before your wedding. We were engaged for 15 months, and we were still headless chickens at the last minute. Also, summer is the biggest time for weddings. Many ceremony sites, reception sites, caterers, DJs, bakers, florists, etc. get booked early for summer weddings, so the sooner you decide on things, line these people up, and sign a contract, the easier your life will be.
Attendants...if they know you're engaged, talk to them soon. Assuming you choose people who you know well, know to be dependable, and have a special relationship with, it's not like you have to worry about not still being friends with them next summer! Be up front with them about what you are asking them to do, including specific duties, and if possible, a rough estimate of their expenses (dress, etc.). Get everything out in the open up-front, and nasty surprises are less likely.
Future mother-in-law....it's great that you have a good relationship with her! Accept gratefully all offers of help, and look at it as a chance to spend time with her and continue to build your friendship. (When I got engaged, I was kind of estranged from my family, so his mom and I worked on it....she took me dress shopping and everything. It was great!)
Accepting financial assistance.....it's not bad at all! It's great that they want to help. Set aside a time when you, your fiance, and his parents can sit down and discuss finances. Make up a budget, figure out who will pay for what, or how much, and STICK TO THE THING!! There's nothing worse than starting your married life in debt from a one-day party that will take months or years to pay off! And remember, money usually comes with strings. Are they giving you a lump sum, or are they paying for specific items (caterer, flowers, or minister's fee, etc.), or are they paying for the kind of wedding THEY want you to have? Again (notice a recurring theme yet?), set everything out up-front. No nasty surprises. If it turns out that you feel pressured to do things in a way you don't agree with because they are paying, you'll be better off graciously declining their offer, scaling back on some things, saving up, and paying for it yourself. You also don't want to start your married life by feuding with his family, or by feeling some lingering resentment towards them about the way the wedding turned out.
Sorry this is so long. :) If you have any more questions, just post and we'll try to help you out, or feel free to PM me. Good luck with your wedding!