Bridesmaids: To Pick or Not to Pick

[lanzourasskiss]

I am a bridesmaid twice and a maid of honor once this summer...three weekends in a row. Once in Rhode Island...once in L.A. and then in Iowa. As a bride or bride-to-be...do you want advice from the bridesmaids regarding color/style/etc. on the bridesmaid dresses???

[Sarah]

Yes, if she is a respectful human being and a half-decent friend, the bride should allow you input regarding something that you will spend a lot of money on. After all, you have to wear it and she doesn't. When I got married, I was fortunate enough to have all my bridesmaids (but one) with me when I found gorgeous but simple floor length gowns in my colors that fit everyone and they all liked.....on a clearance rack in an outlet store for $7 apiece!! (This is not a misprint.) Since this is a once-in-a-lifetime find, you will most likely be spending at least 15-20 times that and should definitely be allowed a say. BUT...hers is the final decision. It is almost never a good idea for the bride to take all of her ladies with her to look for a dress, since everyone will have a different idea and a compromise may be impossible. A better solution is for the bride and the maid/matron of honor to go together if possible and narrow down the possibilities, and get the maids' input from among them. If one has grave misgivings, then maybe they can find something else. I am the matron of honor for a wedding in August and this is what we did. The bride and I found a dress that would work in the prom gown section of a department store, since we weren't certain that the one she liked from the bridal salon would be able to be ordered in time. She then took everyone else back to look at it. They liked it, and since we were lucky enough to find one of everyone's sizes on the rack, they bought them that evening! She reserved one for me and I picked mine up the next day. No hassle! Since you seem to be long-distance from most of the brides, perhaps you could send them links to sites with pictures of dresses that you like, and they could find out whether those designers/styles are available in their respective areas. Hope some of this helps, and good luck!

[bjmy1975]

As a bridesmaid this summer and a bride next summer yes... let them have input. My future sister in law let us pick the dress and even the color. She's a little wishy washy, but at least we felt involved. Not to mention that we will be comfortable in our dresses since we picked out a style that we all felt confortable in. That's my advise as a bridesmaid.

As a bride, yes I want input... but not overbearing input. We are having an extremely large wedding party rangeing in age from 11 to 30. I have looked at tons of dresses on the internet and then looked for them in the bridal shops. I just think about what I like and feel comfortable in and what I know about their personalities. I have shown my matron of honor quite a few of them and see mostly agrees with my choices. However, when it comes to picking the final dress only two of them get to have an opinion. My matron of honor and my first bridesmaid. If I take all of them, it will be too much opinion. :( So I'm taking the two I trust the most. And on the flowers and decorations, I'm trusting my matron of honor the most, but taking into consideration some of the bridesmaids favorite colors and flowers. I have been told I am being a little to accomidating. :( I thinnk I'm just being nice and thoughtful. :)